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Joe Bob Briggs

The Official Home of America's Drive-In Movie Critic Extraordinaire

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Joe Bob Briggs Presents: Animal House – March 11, 2018

March 11, 2018
Joe Bob Briggs Presents: Animal House (1978)

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema
2548 Central Park Avenue
Yonkers, NY 10710
914-226-3082

Purchase Tickets

Faber College has one frat house so disreputable it will take anyone. It has a second one full of white, anglo-saxon, rich young men who are so sanctimonious no one can stand them except Dean Wormer. The dean enlists the help of the second frat to get the boys of Delta House off campus. The dean’s plan comes into play just before the homecoming parade to end all parades for all time.

Every successful movie has its myriad clones and imitators, but none of them ever come close to what made the original so good.  Joe Bob will step you through what Animal House the once and future king of the raunchy comedy.

Joe Bob Briggs – Live! “How Rednecks Saved Hollywood” – Jan 26th, 2018

January 26th, 2018
Doors Open at 6:30 PM CST
Showtime at 8 PM CST

Texas Theatre
231 W. Jefferson Blvd
Dallas TX 75208

Get Tickets

$16 Advance Purchase
$18 Day of show
$12 Texas Theatre Members

Joe Bob Briggs returns home with his one-man show about the origins of the Angry White Man (and his cohort, the Scary White Woman). That guy in the ripped spaghetti-strap t-shirt and the half-smoked Camel has a long and storied history that Joe Bob will explain in a fast-and-furious 100 minutes of film clips featuring classics of exploitation cinema.

He’ll reveal a) the identity of the first redneck in history, b) the precise date the first redneck arrived in America, c) the most sacred redneck cinematic moments, d) why the redneck is the scariest monster in all of film history, and d) the reason God loves rednecks.

This one-of-a-kind live event, which will never be available online or anywhere else because we’re pirating the clips, features footage from . . . well, we guess we can’t tell you what classics the clips are from because Joe Bob Briggs, the outlaw drive-in movie critic from Grapevine, Texas, doesn’t want the Paramount lawyers to come down on his sneaky ass.

All Ages Event with Parental Guidance

 

 

Joe Bob Briggs Presents: A History of the Redneck in Film – Nov 4th, 2017

November 4, 2017
11:59 PM: Joe Bob Briggs Presents: A History of the Redneck in Film

The Coolidge Corner Theater
290 Harvard St, Brookline, MA 02446

Purchase Tickets

This has been the Year of the Angry White Man, but he’s actually just been hiding. That guy in the ripped spaghetti-strap t-shirt and the half-smoked Camel has a long and storied history that Joe Bob Briggs will explain in a fast-and-furious 90 minutes of film clips.

He’ll reveal a) the identity of the first redneck in history, b) the precise date the first redneck arrived in America, c) the most sacred redneck cinematic moments, d) why the redneck is the scariest monster in all of film history, and d) the reason God loves rednecks. This one-of-a-kind live event, which will never be available online or anywhere else because we’re pirating the clips, features footage from . . . well, we guess we can’t tell you what classics the clips are from because Joe Bob Briggs, the outlaw drive-in movie critic from Grapevine, Texas, doesn’t want the Paramount lawyers to come down on his sneaky ass.

Joe Bob Briggs Presents: The Sentinel – Oct 30, 2017

October 30, 2017
10:00 PM EST

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema
2548 Central Park Avenue
Yonkers, NY 10710

914-226-3082

Get Tickets

Celebrate the 40th Anniversary!

Hosted by Joe Bob Briggs!

Michael Winner (DEATH WISH, THE NIGHTCOMERS) directed this NYC set slice of satanic horror with a stacked cast including: John Carradine, Chris Sarandon, Cristina Raines, Martin Balsam, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Eli Wallach, Jerry Orbach, Beverly D’Angelo, Christopher Walken, Tom Berenger and Jeff Goldblum. If that’s not enough, it also features some real life deformed folks that look like they came out of Fellini’s extras troupe and a cat named Jezebel who celebrates a birthday with a truly outlandish party. One of Winner’s least celebrated but most accomplished works, it’s time to give THE SENTINEL its due.

John Bloom: “Eccentric Orbits” Live Book Review – October 25, 2017

Florida State University

October 25, 2017
10:00 AM – 12:00 PM

AME Auditorium, Room 106
2003 Levy Ave
Tallahassee, FL

In the early 1990s, Motorola, the legendary American technology company developed a revolutionary satellite system called Iridium that promised to be its crowning achievement. Light years ahead of anything previously put into space, and built on technology developed for Ronald Reagan’s “Star Wars,” Iridium’s constellation of 66 satellites in polar orbit meant that no matter where you were on Earth, at least one satellite was always overhead, and you could call Tibet from Fiji without a delay and without your call ever touching a wire.

Iridium the satellite system was a mind-boggling technical accomplishment, surely the future of communication. The only problem was that Iridium the company was a commercial disaster. Only months after launching service, it was $11 billion in debt, burning through $100 million a month and crippled by baroque rate plans and agreements that forced calls through Moscow, Beijing, Fucino, Italy, and elsewhere. Bankruptcy was inevitable—the largest to that point in American history. And when no real buyers seemed to materialize, it looked like Iridium would go down as just a “science experiment.”

Listen as author John Bloom masterfully traces the conception, development, and launching of Iridium and the tireless efforts to stop it from being destroyed, from meetings with his motley investor group, to the Clinton White House, to the Pentagon, to the hunt for customers in special ops, shipping, aviation, mining, search and rescue—anyone who would need a durable phone at the end of the Earth. Impeccably researched and wonderfully told, Eccentric Orbits is a rollicking, unforgettable tale of technological achievement, business failure, the military-industrial complex, and one of the greatest deals of all time.

Upcoming Joe Bob Appearances

JOE BOB BRIGGS
2016 APPEARANCE SCHEDULE

You’ve been warned!  Here are the next several appearance dates for Joe Bob Briggs.
Check back prior to event dates for more up to date information.

 

SCARE-A-THON    NEW ENGLAND

The Horror and Pop Culture fan party of the year!

JUNE 3RD – 5TH 2016

SPRINGFIELD, MA

FIND OUT MORE

Advice to the Hopeless – May 6, 2015

Dear Joe Bob,

Hey, I recently saw you at the Alamo Drafthouse, in Yonkers, for a screening of “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” (1974), which you did an exceptional job presenting, and I was just wondering if you were doing any more public appearances this year, in or around the Northeast?

Thanks again, JB, and it was nice finally meeting you.

J.T.

 

Hey J.T.

Great to hear from you, and yes, I’m gonna start doing a regular series at Alamo Drafthouse/Yonkers. We’ll put the dates up for those screenings and for anywhere else I’m gonna be up on the website and on Facebook.

Preciate the support, bud. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon . . .

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

Hey Joe Bob!

I saw your lecture at the Chattanooga Film Fest and it was incredible! Very fun and informative. As soon as I got home I had to look up the movie, “Drum” and check it out. Wow, what a film! I meant to ask you during the Q&A but there wasn’t much time, but what’s your thoughts on “Nail Gun Massacre”?

Nathan

 

Nathan,

I was at the premiere of the restored print of “Nail Gun Massacre” a few years back, and I met all the guys involved. It’s basically a weaker version of “The Tool Box Murders,” and not nearly as scary, but it’s good dirty fun.

Preciate you coming to the show. That was just about the warmest audience I’ve ever had.

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

 

Dear Joe Bob,

I have been hearing that there has been a resurgence of the drive-in. Is this because of nostalgia, hipsters getting into something because it is unpopular to the average public and considered ironic, or because the drive-in has learned to evolve to our changing world?

Lyle

Lyle,

Yes, you’re absolutely right, there’s a huge resurgence of interest in the drive-in, and as the economy improves we see many old drive-ins reopening and many new ones being built.

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

 

Hi Joe Bob,

Like many Mutants, I’m also a fan of the great Tom Waits. In his song “Diamonds On My Windshield,” he includes the following lyrics:

Orange Drive-in, Neon billing,

Theatre’s filling to the brim

With

Slave Girls and Hot Spur

And Bucket Full of Sin

I assume these last two lines are titles of drive-in movies, but I have only been able to track down one of them (I think). Could you identify these and maybe tell me a little about them?

Preciate it, JBB!

Dante

 

Dear Dante,

I’m pretty sure Tom made those up, but somebody should make a movie called “Bucket Full of Sin.”

 

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

 

Hey Joe Bob,

I have been digging around and can’t seem to find those two quotes from the old Drive-In reports. Seemed best as I can remember you had one when a drive-in was restored and a different one when they got closed but always the same two quotes to cap off the segment. I have watched several of the old Monster Visions on YouTube and have just had the bad luck of picking out all videos with no drive-in report.

Have a great day Joe Bob!

David

Hi David,

Yes, the only two categories of drive-in reporting were…

Communist Alert!

and

Victory Over Communism!

Preciate the support, bud.

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

Upcoming Joe Bob Appearances – Spring 2015

Want to see Joe Bob all up close and personal like?  Check out his court approved special “Visitation Days”.

Sunday, March 22 at 7pm at the Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers: Joe Bob will present the 1984 classic NIGHT OF THE COMET in 35mm!
http://drafthouse.com/movies/joe-bob-briggs-presents-night-of-the-comet/nyc_area

Friday, April 3rd at 7pm at the Chattanooga Film Fest: Joe Bob will astound you with his lecture on “The South in Film.”
http://chattanooga-film-fest.myshopify.com/collections/tickets/products/joe-bob-briggs-presents-the-south-in-film-180-minutes-friday-april-3-2015-7pm-10pm

Joe Bob’s Advice to the Hopeless – Dec ’14

Dear Joe Bob, Thank you with all my heart.

I recently obtained an old copy of Joe Bob Goes to the Drive In and watched my niece go to tears laughing at your totally professional and fair imitation of someone who was not the anti-war, pro-art man you are. You were my once-a-week relief in the 80’s when I was washing dishes in Austin and we would rush to buy out the Dallas newspaper (and there was only ONE Dallas newspaper then) to read your column aloud while we slaved in the kitchen heat. Thank you. Your writing in the 80’s was air conditioning to us in that slave hall. BTW, some guy in LA found a copy of Hells Angels Forever on tape and digitalized it. I bought it two weeks ago after searching 25 years on the alleged Internet…..and I thought I had hallucinated the movie ’cause no mention. Watched it several times over, compared your review in JBGTTM and have to concede….you were unduly unfair to these obvious humanitarians.

You should be ashamed!

Paul

Hey Paul–

Thanks for the great memories. One of which is the Hell’s Angels sending an “enforcer” to mess me up when I was late for the introduction of “Hell’s Angels Forever” at the Inwood Theater in Dallas.

Preciate the nice words! Hang in there, Joe Bob


Hey Joe Bob! I’m a big fan of yours! Were you in the movie “The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald”? In the TV movie The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald at around 1:56 the actor playing the guy who carpooled with Lee Harvey Oswald and saw Lee with the brown package of “curtain rods”is that you ? It sounds just like you but doesn’t look much like you? Matt

Matt, You’re talking about the two-night miniseries from 1977, but you may not know there was a movie with the same title, made in Dallas in 1964 by the late great Larry Buchanan. At any rate, I wasn’t in either of them. I was in Dallas in 1977 but I was a feature reporter for the Dallas Times-Herald and had no idea I would ever try acting. Preciate the nice words, bud. Hang in there, Joe Bob

Hi Joe Bob, In your commentary on “Incredibly Strange Creatures…!!?, you wanted to know what Madam Estrella and Ortega were doing with their hands (in a scene following the stabbing of the Barker and Stella). They were mixing acid with glass beakers. I realize someone has probably answered this question before but just in case they have not, I thought I would put in my two cents. Your fan, James Clay James– At last I can sleep at night! Thanks a lot, bud.

That’s a while back that I did that commentary. Preciate the support.

Hang in there, Joe Bob

Joe Bob, I have heard that there may be a remake of the classic movie:”curse of the demon.” Have you heard anything about this? If so, please send me an e mail with full details. One of my comments appeared in one of your columns years ago in the d.t.h. Robert

Robert–

I’m not a fan of remakes but I can see why whoever has the rights is choosing that one in 2014. Paranormal is crazy popular right now. I’ll check into it and let you know. Preciate the support, bud.

Hang in there, Joe Bob

 

 

Dear Joe Bob, I recall reading in one of your articles a while ago that the imposition of Daylight Savings Time was an effort by the studios and big movie theaters to cripple the Drive-Ins. I also saw the documentary on PBS which asserted the same thing. Sounds good to me. The problem is, that some of the skeptics here demand that I back up my opinions with facts, and I cannot find any reference to the relationship between DST and the death of the Drive-Ins. When you get a minute, could you help me out here by pointing me to a source of information regarding how The Man went after the Drive-In by changing the time every Spring?

George

Dear George,

Daylight Savings Time was instituted in the United States toward the end of the drive-in’s heyday, namely, 1967, with the result that a lot of triple-feature venues had to become double features, and some drive-ins had June and July start times of 9 p.m. or later. Obviously this was not good for business, and the owners started holding barbecues and instituting other attractions like miniature golf to get families to come earlier. Then in 1973 the feds ordered mandatory year-round DST, so the southern drive-ins that had shows in the winter had to deal with it 365 days a year. Fortunately that only lasted a year. By then most drive-ins had turned to porn just to survive.

There were a lot of contributing factors–the rise of the multiplex, the decline of Detroit gas guzzlers and the rise of Japanese rice rockets, and, yes, DST was one of them–but the drive-ins that managed to last to the mid-eighties are mostly still in business today.

Preciate the support, bud. Hang in there, Joe Bob

 


Advice to the Hopeless 3/24/14

Joe Bob,

I’m interested in what you think about the evolution of the drive-in. A couple of months ago, I saw “The Outsiders” up in Silver Spring, at the AFI’s theater and there’s that great scene set in the drive-in in Tulsa. It made me think about this topic again, how drive-ins
used to be rowdy places, and that kind of went out of style. The ones that have survived are great, but, overall, seem to be a real wholesome, family kind of atmosphere. Seems like the end of an era, or at least a real change. Curious what you think.

Cheers!

Jason

Jason,

Drive-ins have always gone back and forth between seedy teenage hangouts and family attractions. The yin and the yang of them existed in 1954 as surely as it does today, and you will find drive-ins across America that are rife with rowdiness. You can find articles over the
past 50 years that start out, “It used to be a passion pit, but the local drive-in is more and more attracted to family fare these days . . .” and those articles are usually efforts by the owner to get rid of the rowdy teens. It was not uncommon in the fifties for a drive-in to have
drunks passed out in their cars on Saturday night, then a special Easter showing of “The Ten Commandments” on Sunday night. So it kind of goes with the territory.

Best,

Joe Bob

* * *

Dearest Joe:

Of the 3 billion websites out there, yours has got to be the coolest. Where might I go to find a watchable copy of the movie The Swinging Barmaids? I can’t seem to find it anywhere and have no idea where to look.

Is it even considered a B-movie, or just an older A-movie?

Peter

Peter,

The title “Swinging Barmaids” was used as a re-title on more than one movie released by Motion Picture Marketing, so you need to tell me which one you’re talking about. Some identifying feature. Maybe a
poster? And, yes, all of them were definitely B movies.

Preciate the nice words, bud.

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

* * *

JOE BOB!!!

My profound statement is, and it might not be “profound” but it is definitely a good one, “A good friend will bail you out of jail but a true friend will be sitting beside you in jail and say DAMN THAT WAS FUN”

Love you!!!!! Miss you reading prison mail!!!

Nicole

Nicole,

First of all, I didn’t do it. Secondly, she’s lying. Third, I don’t own any weapon of the type in question. Fourth, that’s not my DNA.

Thanks for the nice words!

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

*  *  *  *

Hey Joe Bob

I been reading your book about going Back to the Drive-in recently because I didn’t have it until this past Christmas when my loverly girlfriend gave it to me. I already read your first book about going to the drive-in, and ever since I read your column in one of the finer
local newspapers back in the early 1990s I been telling everyone how much they been missing by not reading your stuff or watching you on the TV, but usually they just tell me to, “get the hell out of the store.”

Anyway, I wrote you back in 1998-or-so asking for info on a film about a guy with no legs that fought a guy with no arms, and you said it was Crippled Masters and that you’d play it on MonsterVision, if you did, I missed it… so now I’m just writing to let you know that I did end up buying a DVD of “Crippled Masters” back in 2004, so you don’t have to worry about that anymore.

Jon

Jon,

Well, since I’ve been waiting SIXTEEN YEARS for your review, tell me: how was it?

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

*  *  *

Hey Joe Bob!

I think you might have known my dad, Frank E. Griffis? He’s told me stories about you and, oh what’s that guy’s name, the one that wrote Texas Chainsaw Massacre, another West Texas guy…anyway. I grew up watching Monstervision and harassing old librarians trying to find whatever grummy, dog-chewed copies of your
books I could.

I don’t have any profundities off the top, just wanted to drop a line and say how much I appreciate the stuff you’ve put out there. Love your humor, and dangit, it was good information too. I hope you know how big of a cult following you have out there! We aren’t very vocal, or productive, or sober. But we’re there! Watching horrible movies and
wishing they were narrated by a certain good ol’ boy armed with vital statistics. Wish you the best, man.

Frank

Hey Frank,

Thanks for the nice words. I learned long ago that the movies are better when drunk.

Preciate the support.

Hang in there,

Joe Bob

*  *  *

Joe Bob,

On MonsterVision, you once showed a film that was based on an epic Greek or Roman story. Seems it was based in the subways or something like that. You illustrated/diagrammed some of the plot on a blackboard or whiteboard or flip chart. What was the film and what epic story was it based on? Do you know the air date?

I thought you were brilliant.

Rita

Rita!

Thanks for remembering one of my favorite episodes. It may be the one time in my life that being a Classical Studies minor came in handy. The movie was “The Warriors,” directed by Walter Hill, who would go on to direct much more famous movies like “48 Hrs.,” “Streets of Fire” and “Brewster’s Millions.” Walter Hill may or may not have cared about the story’s classical origins, but the screenplay was based on a novel by Sol Yurick, and Yurick had used Xenophon’s account of the retreat of the Ten Thousand, as described in “Anabasis,” and transposed it onto a fable about New York gang territories. The conceit worked because the Ten Thousand was a band of Greek warriors who marched all the way to the Euphrates in 401 BC, where they were employed by Cyrus to fight against Artaxerxes. Even though they won the battle, Cyrus was killed and they ended up with no food, no supplies, and no leadership after all their generals were lured to a meeting and executed. They then had to fight their way back through every hostile territory between Babylon and the Black Sea before finding ships to take them home–a process that took two years and is considered one of the great “underdog” stories in military history. At any rate, the route of the Warriors in the movie began at Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx, where their leader was killed, and ended after many fights later at their home turf of Coney Island. I used a 1960s New York subway map to chart their progress.

Much more information than you wanted, I’m sure!

All my best,

Joe Bob

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