Joe Bob's America

"Joe Bob's America" for 3/1/91

By Joe Bob Briggs

Peter Arnett, the Madman of Baghdad, has been taking direct B-52 carpet-bombing hits the past month from Congressmen, "media watchdog" groups, and assorted froth-mouth loonies from rural Indiana over just exactly how much "propaganda" he spewed out for Saddam Hussein. Senator Alan Simpson of Wyoming even said that Arnett was acting as an Iraqi "sympathizer."

I watched almost everything the man said--and I don't get it.

There's Peter standing on the streets of Iraq with a big ole block of type across the bottom of the screen: "CLEARED BY IRAQI CENSORS."

What happened when Americans saw that? Did they jump up out of their Lazy Boy recliners and put black tape over the lower half of the screen?

Read my lips here for a minute: That means the guy is being CENSORED. THAT'S WHY THEY STUCK IT UP THERE ON THE SCREEN.

Next thing, Peter would generally say something like, "Life in Baghdad continues to be disrupted by the almost continuous bombing."

Is this propaganda?

A few hundred miles to the south, some guy in a camouflage suit at a military briefing is saying, "We're disrupting their command posts and communications systems by almost continuous bombing."

In other words, Arnett was saying the EXACT SAME THING as the American guy in the jumpsuit.

Then Peter would say something like, "Earlier today the press was taken to what the Iraqi authorities described as a civilian area that had been bombed by American planes."

And then he would show pictures of it.

Do you realize how big a city Baghdad is? We're talking about a "surgical-strike" bombing operation in a metropolitan area the size of Houston, and a lot of people live in those stucco dealies that look like an Indian reservation in New Mexico. Of COURSE the bombs hit some dentists' offices and toy stores and Go-Kart tracks. What does Senator Simpson think--that the Iraqis hired the Paramount Pictures special-effects department to design sets, paint them, blow them up, scatter debris around, and then scream "Hey, you! Media guys! Come over here and look at this carnage!"

We hit some stuff we didn't mean to hit. Peter looked at it. He said, "Here's some stuff they SAY the American planes bombed."

HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY WE BOMBED IT. He said SADDAM HUSSEIN said we bombed it.

Is Senator Simpson so naive that he thinks that when a guy stands up in front of the White House, and says "Richard Nixon said today 'I am not a crook,'" that that means the reporter BELIEVES Nixon is not a crook?

Evidently we need to increase funding to the Wyoming public schools.

Listen to me, Senator. The following sentences have different meanings:

"Dick hit Tom."

"Tom says Dick hit him."

"Tom says Dick hit him, but there's more to the story I can't say right now."

I'm surprised I have to explain this, but, after all, you ARE a member of the U.S. Congress.

And then there was that one day when Peter went to the bomb shelter where a bunch of people got buried underground, and his crew took pictures of people hysterically screaming and crying because their families were dead.

And he didn't say, "This is America's fault," or "This is George Bush's fault," or "This is Saddam Hussein's fault." He didn't assign blame. He left that to all the politicians and soldiers who were trying to explain the dead children.

All Peter said was, "This is terrible."

And it WAS terrible.

We used to call that being a good reporter.

Peter Arnett risked his life every day of the war so that people like Senator Simpson could see some reality on their TV screens. Obviously, it was a wasted effort. After the man saw dead babies, all he could think about was the strategic effect it had on war planning. You know who thinks like that?

A propagandist.

"The Cosmic Wisdom of Joe Bob Briggs," a collection of Joe Bob's best columns, is now available from Random House. To discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob, or to get free junk in the mail and his "We Are the Weird" newsletter, write P.O. Box 2002, Dallas, TX 75221. Joe Bob's Fax: 214-368-2310.

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