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2003
January 3 - I'm
Abstinent, Mom--No, Really, Am !
January 10 - I'm 14 And Carry A Badge
January 17 - Whoops! But I Had Sources!
January 24 - Joke Experts Aren't Joking
January 31 -America Says: "Sardine Me!"
February 7 - The 2004 Budget: A Literary Appraisal
February 14 - Satire Is Not For Wimps
February 21 - Defending The Frogs And The Huns
February 28 -
Hillbilly And Proud Of It
March 7 - Non Fumar? Comprende
March 14 - Whatever Happened to "Quagmire"?
March 21 - The Media Lays Down Its Weapons
March 25 - Hey Look, Ma, I'm Embedded!
March 26 - What? No Boycott of Italy?
March 31 - Worldwide Killer Disease? Ho Hum
April 2 - Free Geraldo!
April 4 - Job Wanted, Jihad-Ready!
April 7 - Cross Burning Canceled
April 11 - The Loyalty Oath
April 15 - Burning Museum? Ho Hum
April 16 - Jealous of Fox
April 18 - They Hate Our What?
April 28 - Spiting Osama's Nose
May 7 - Wrong
Answer, Go To Jail
May 9 - Self
Determination? In Iraq?
May 16 - Nailing
The Teenie Meanies
May 23 - Europe
Doesn't Believe In Whupass
May 30 - Jails From
Hell
June 6 - Martha
Boo-Boos Explained
June 13 - The Joe
Bob Middle East Peace Plan
June 20 - Big
Bellies Go Belly Up?
June 27 - Sodomy
Sodomy Sodomy
July 2 - Hillary's
Magnum Opus
July 14 - Thus
Spake Kobe
July 15 - Ground
Zero Guilt
July 22 - The Secret Bob Hope
July 28 - Why I Hate The Segway
July 29 - Forever Dale
August 4 - Joe Bob's Survival 101
August 11 - Silicone Is Back
August 26 - The Maxim Test
September 9 - Invasion Of The Early Birds
2002
January 3 - Giuliani Time
January 10 - Peers
January 17 - Eye Dee
January 18 - Joe Bob Explains Enron
January 24 - Joe Bob Sings
Enron
January 25 - Too Many Wives
January 31 - Dogpile On The
Smoker
February 1
- The "P" Word
February 7
- Teen Pregnancy Explained
February 8
- The Numbers
February 14 - His Highness
February 21 - Abu Sayyaf Who?
February 28 - Airline Insecurity
March 8
- A Mad Genius Passes
March 14 - Naughty Priests
March 15 - The Strange Case of
Osama Bin/Silencing the Osama Lover
March 19 - The Mob Has Left The
Building
March 21 - Springtime For
Hitler
March 22 - It's Raining Money
March 28 - The Zombie
Lawsuit
March 29
- Remember Ice Skating?
April 4 - Podium Senility
April 5
- Card Carrying Atheists
April 11 - Death and Taxes
April 12 - Abkhazia? Would you mind spelling that, Mr. President?
April 25 - If You're Not
Catholic, Shut Up
May 2 - What Men Want
May 3
- Literary Thieves I Have Known
May 9 - Boys Rule! No, Girls Rule!
May 10
- Brilliant Sri Lankan Novelists, Go Home!
May 16 - Ain't No Injuns
Around Here
May 23 - Why Frequent Flyers Are Doomed
May 31 - Don't Call On Me,
I'll Call On You
June 6 - Crime Lite in
Washington
June 9
- Tyson's Second Childhood
June 13 - Schizo Man, Identify Yourself!
June 20 - Slamming Muhammad
June 27 - The Tao Of Cher
July 4 - Too Drunk to Drive,
or Just Too Drunk?
July 11 - Desperation At The
Fancy Food Show
July 18 - Hey Man, Groove On
This
July 25 - Steve Earle's Blues
August 1 - Flying While Fat
August 8 - May I Please See Your
Remorse?
August 15 - What's
All This Damned Unregulated Free Speech
August 22 - Catherine's Sex
Life--Too Much Information
August 29 - Ode To
Martha
September 5 - Going
Hormonal
September 12 - No Girls Allowed
September 19 - How to Spot Terrorists at Shoney's
September 27 - Dawdling
Bureaucrats, Dead Smokers
September 30 - Mayor Mike
Exhales
October 3 - My Talk Show
October 11 - Swearing Off Vino
October 18 -Why Lonnie Can't
Read Or Do Anything Else Right
October 25 - MoSex For Me
November 1 - Potheads Unite!
November 8 - The Grandma Mafia
November 15 - Shut Up Laws
November 22 - Draft Insanity
November 29 - Football For
Dummies
December 6 - What Would Jesus
Hate?
2001
October 3 - El-Cheapo-Travel.com
October 11 - Which Stan Is Our Friend?
October 18 -
Irony
October 25 - The Globemaster
November 1 - Fantastic Job
November 8 - Nine Eleven
November 15 - Terrorist
Scorecard
November 22 - They Have Won
November 29 - The Prophet
December 6 - Al Jazeera
December 13 - Gentlemen
December 14 - Declaring War
1997
January 5
- Love
Poker
January 12 - In
Praise Of Papparazzi
January 19 - You Get
What You Pay For
January 26 - U.S.
'Sensitivity Training' Would've Done Stalin Proud
February 2 - When
The Rush To Judgment Becomes A Stampede
February 9 - Don't
Mess With Mr. In-Between
February 16 - Fat
Chance For Food Lovers
February 23 -
Boomerang Justice
March 9 - Out On A
Truth Limb
March 16 - Literate
'Pen' Pals Make The Grade
March 23 - It's Not
Just Black And White
March 30 - Postcards
From Prozacland: It Ain't a Pretty Picture
May 4 -
May 11 -
June 22 -
Babysnatchers In Blue
June 29 - It's
Always The Money
July 6 - The Verdict
Should Say It All--Period
July 13 - Europe's
Left Turn
July 20 - The Big
Picture
August 17 - 'Family
Values' Means Every Family For Itself
August 24 -
Slouching Towards Broadway
August 31 - Hope For
The Test-Disabled
September 14 -
Americans Are The Worst Foreigners
1996
January 1
- The
Mystery of the Disappearing Mentors
January 14 -
Bleeding Heart Hypocrisy in the Jungles of New Guinea
January 21 - A
Little Gentle Correction Never Hurt Anyone
February 4 - When
It's Good to be Touchy
February 11 - Seeing
Stars
February 18 - Magic
Was Robbed
February 25 - What's
So Funny?
March 3 - A Room
with a View & No Neighbors in Sight
March 10 - Count Me
Out
March 17 - And the
Liars Bray On
March 24 - City
Council Snobs Outlaw "Unartistic" Nudity
March 31 - Ode to a
Martini
April 7 - Please
Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
April 14 - So Slow
It's Criminal
April 21 - Jurors
Aren't Stupid. Mad, Maybe, But Not Stupid
April 28 - What the
Heck Are We Arguing About?
May 5 - Q: How Do
You Get to Carnegie Hall? A: Rent It!
May 12 - Wise Guys?
May 19 - Don't Tell
Me. Show Me.
May 26 - Welcome to
Lake Joe Bob
June 19 - Committed
to Disaster
June 23 - Much Too
Much Ado Already
June 30 - Crossing
the Normal Shoe Line
July 7 - Why We Need
Marge
July 14 - Wierded
Out
July 21 - Big Mouths
July 28 - Time to
Bench the Parents
August 4 - In
Defense of Friction
August 11 - Too Many
Virgins
August 18 - Dude!
August 25 - Sign Me
"Anon"
September 1 -
Terrorists May Be Crazy, But They're Not Cowards
September 8 - Read
My Lips (If Nothing Else)
September 15 - Life
Without Father
September 22 - So
Sue Me
September 29 - I
Hate It When They Do That
October 6 - Let's Be
Civil About Gay Marriage
October 20 - Here's
Smoke In Your Face
October 13 - You Can't 'Downsize' A Railroad Aand Still Expect People To
Ride
October 27 - Leave
Carolyn Besette Alone!
November 3 - You're
An Athlete. You Make a Jillion Dollars. Smile!
November 10 - Memo
to Bob Costas: It's a Big Country Out There
November 17 - The
Media vs Richard Jewell
December 1 - Hold
The Phone
December 8 -
Automatic Lies
December 15 -
Mountain Girlfriends vs Beach Girlfriends
December 22 - A Plea
for Equal Opportunity Basketball
1995
January 2
January 9
January 16
January 23
January 30
February 6
February 13
February 20
February 27
March 6
March 13
March 20
March 27
April 3
April 17
April 24
May 1
May 8
May 15
May 22
May 29
June 5
June 12
June 19
June 26
July 3
July 10
July 17
July 24
July 31
August 7
August 14
August 21
August 28
September 4
September 11
September 18
September 25
October 2
October 9
October 16
October 23
October 30
November 6
November 13
November 20
November 27
- Granddaddy Was a Bonehead
December 4
- No Justice for Kids Today
December 11
- Does Donald Know When He's Being Trumped?
December 18
- Busing's a Bust (And It's Got Nothing To Do With Race)
December 25
- Has TV Gone Logo Loco?
1994
January 7
What Color Are Your Panties?
January 14
First Class Becomes No Class
January 21
You Decide, Unless I Decide
January 28
Don't Hate the Man You Kill
February 4
I Think I'll Just Hock One Up
February 11
Censorignoramus Americanus
February 18
Please Repeat the Question
February 25
Middle-Aged White Guys
March 4
Get Your Butt Out of Dodge
March 11
You're Right, I Didn't See It
March 18
I Love Ratings
March 25
The Health Food's in Newark
April 1
Everybody Gets To Talk
April 8 Offensive to Invisible People
April 15
My Little Medieval Fortress
April 22
Faubus and Farrakhan
April 29
Hillary's Slender Sexy Legs
May 6
Pork Chops Will Prevail
May 13
Semi-Secret Sacred Place
May 20
Don't Leave Homo Without It
May 27
Thou Shalt Not Laugh
June 3
The Facts of Football
June 10
No Squeezing or Gripping
June 17
The Lady's Not Pert
June 24
The Fall of the Mall
July 1
Cream in Your Coffee?
August 19
Paws Off My Particles!
August 26
One Size Fits Nobody
September 2
Gotta Beef With My Boots?
September 23
Nerds Behind Bars
September 30
Flaky Flaky Flaky
October 7
Snowed by the Sniffmeister
October 17
Sticks and Scones
October 24
Rice-a-Roni Express
October 31
Don't Want No Stinkin Voters
November 7
The Single Shoe Theory
November 14
Be Nice to the Old People
November 21
World According to Newt
November 28
December 5
December 12
December 19
December 26
1993
January 1
January 8
January 15
January 22
January 29
February 5
February 12
February 19
February 26
March 5
March 12
March 19
March 26
April 2
April 9
April 16
April 23
April 30
May 7
May 14
May 21
May 28
June 4
June 11
June 18
June 25
July 2
July 9
July 16
July 23
July 30
August 6
August 13
August 20
August 27
September 3
September 10
September 17
September 24
October 1
October 8
October 15
October 22
October 29
Leave the Pope's Butt Alone
November 5
The Boyfriend From Hell
November 12
2,000 Years! ... Big Deal
November 19
To Grope or Not to Grope
November 26
The Frogs Are Croaking Again
November 30
December 3
Nasty, Mean and Whiny
December 10
Relationships Are Hell
December 17
It's a Goldang Conspiracy
December 24 Nobody
Wants the Cash
1992
January
10
January 17
January 24
January 31
February 7
February 14
February 21
February 28
March 7
March 14
March 21
April 17
April 24
May 1
May 6
May 15
May 22
May 29
June 5
June 12
June 19
June 26
July 3
July 10
July 17
July 24
July 31
August 7
August 14
August 21
August 28
September 4
September 11
September 18
September 25
October 2
October 9
October 23
October 30
November 6
November 13
November 20
November 27
December 4
December 11
December 18
December 25
1991
January 11
January 18
February 1
February 8
February 15
February 22
March 1
March 8
March 22
March 29
April 5
April 12
April 19
May 3
May 10
May 17
May 24
May 31
June 7
June 14
June 21
June 28
July 5
July 12
July 19
August 2
August 9
August 16
August 30
September 6
September 13
September 20
September 27
October 4
October 11
October 18
October 25
November 1
November 8
November 15
November 22
November 29
December 6
December 13
December 20
December 27
1990
January 5
January 26
February 2
February 16
March 2
March 9
March 16
April 6
April 20
April 27
May 4
Vacation Column 01
Vacation Column 02
Vacation Column 03
June 1
June 8
June 15
June 22
July 6
July 13
July 20
July 27
August 3
August 9
August 17
August 24
September 9
September 28
October 5
October 12
October 19
October 25
November 2
November 16
November 23
November 30
December 7
December 14
December 21
December 28
1989
July 14
July 21
August 11
August 18
August 25
September 1
September 15
September 29
October 4
October 13
October 20
October 27
November 3
November 10
November 17
November 24
December 1
December 8
December 15
December 29
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