September 10, 2009
The Beginners Guide to Making Enemies
"Well, whatdidyathink?"
Do you get this all the time?
The movie is over for, like, two seconds, and the person next to you says "Well, whatdidyathink?"
Why didn't they EVER say "I LOVED that movie" or "I HATED that movie"? Why is it all they can say is "whatdidyathink?" Why is all the pressure on ME to decide?
Because, whatever I say, they're gonna agree with me.
"Loved it."
"Me, too."
"Hated it."
"Me, too. Wasn't it awful?"
"Loved it, except for the hokey scene in the airport."
"Wasn't that the WORST scene? Good movie, though."
Girls are especially guilty of this. You can actually CHANGE YOUR MIND LATER, and they'll STILL agree with you.
"You know, now that I think about it, that wasn't such a bad performance after all. He was TRYING to be a jerk."
"I was just thinking the same thing. What a great sleazeball he is."
What's going on here?
 I think some people are afraid that if they can't agree on a movie, then they're HOPELESSLY incompatible. They'll never agree on ANYTHING.
But, actually, a movie is a GOOD thing to disagree on. It's a lot better to disagree on that than to disagree on whether you want children or not, you know what I mean?
Some people even think that if you like certain movies, like "Die Hard," then automatically you're a disgusting person. And if you HATE certain movies, like "Out of Africa," then you're a cretin.
Listen to me, people. IT'S A DADBLAMED MOVIE. You can LIKE IT or NOT LIKE IT, and it doesn't mean diddly squat either way. The movie can't make you a good person or a bad person or a smart person or a stupid person.
It's a MOVIE.
A movie.
I'm surprised I have to explain this stuff.
September 09, 2009
Continued Advice to the Hopeless
Got something to say? Is there a dilemma in your life? Let Joe Bob put his unique spin on things.
Howdy Joe Bob,
Actually I didn't wanna write you a letter until my movie was finished, so I could beg you to write a review about it, but to be honest - I got a bit worried there. Just couldn't find out what you were up to lately, since Profoundly Erotic is a couple of years back already, and you didn't review the latest Troma movie. How is everything for ya? You didn't retire from drive-in reviews, did you? Hope you do more of 'em great DVD commentaries, too!
Would be real nice to hear from ya, and all the best from Germany (where, by the way, they have a few drive-ins, but only seem to screen indoor movies).
-- Dennis
Dennis:
I've heard about those drive-ins in Germany, I think most of them went up around the military bases back in the 1950s. No, I'm not retired but I'm sloooooooooooow. I'll get around to everything here directly.
-- Joe Bob
Hello Mr. Briggs,
My name is Carl and I recently received the Evil Dead Ultimate Edition on DVD as a gift. I have just watched all four disks and found your commentary on the special section of the 2nd disk.
I was curious if your were involved in the selection of the out takes (scenes from the cutting room floor) and actor interviews? Did you work with Sam Raimi as well?
Lastly, being a big Evil Dead fan, would you know just how much filmed and unused footage is out there? Any plans on compiling everything onto several DVDs to preserve the film? I know with age film decays. I guess it's probably rotting in a film vault somewhere.
Thanks again,
--
Carl
Carl:
This is really a bad thing to say, but I don't remember DOING any commentary for the Evil Dead Ultimate Edition. I'm a big fan of the series, though, and was there for the premiere of the original in whatever year that was (early 80s). But no, I'm not involved in any of the selections of the "extras" material.
-- Joe Bob
Hey there Mr. Briggs,
I was wondering what you think of Hollywood remaking all of these Cult Low budget movies these days. I personally think it's bullshit!!
-- Matt
Matt:
I think you've accurately summed up my opinion on the matter. Even though "Last House on the Left" sucked, it's still gonna suck more today.
-- Joe Bob
Hi Joe Bob,
I was wondering, who owns the rights to Joe Bob Briggs Dead in Concert?
I was at that show and wouldn’t mind having a copy on DVD or even on DVD-R.
I enjoyed your last two books and look forward to whatever comes next.
Take it easy,
-- John Alford
John:
Well, thanks for asking about that early performance. It was distributed by a company out of Tulsa, but it's long since been out of distribution and I think the only copies are available at second-hand places.
'Preciate the support, though.
-- Joe Bob
Hi, Joe Bob.
Years ago I emailed you from Garden City, SC, expressing my admiration for your work on Monstervision. Like a complete nerd/stalker/freak, I printed out your email and had it up on my wall. Maybe you'll do me the honor of replying again?
I moved to England a year ago. I was outside in the smoking area at work and I made a lame joke about "zombie fu". Nobody got it. I guess your awesomeness didn't make it over here. Their loss! A person hasn't lived until he/she has stayed up way past bedtime to watch "Maximum Overdrive" with you.
I miss TNT weekend television before it turned crap.
14 years on, and now I'm old enough to stay up all night watching whatever the hell I want without worrying about having school the next morning.
Keep rocking and stay hot..
-- Meaghan
Meaghan!
From Garden City to . . . AINGLAND! You live in England now? Girl, get your hiney back to the South where it belongs.
Actually my first book was published in England. How quickly the Brits forget.
Thanks for the continuing support, hon.
-- Joe Bob
August 31, 2009
Pistolas y Preachers
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