Movie Reviews

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

After getting nominated for the Indoor Bullstuff Academy Award, James Franco gets back to his drive-in roots as Dr. Will Rodman, the scientist who single-highhandedly causes the Monkeypocalypse because he’s trying to find a cure for John Lithgow scenery-chewing Alzheimer's Guy disease. John!  Man!  Eat some fiber!

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Outtake Reel 2011

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

Pouty little actress Ashley Swan is dead at the hands of Thomas Grayson, a horror movie director who fancies himself an auteur, which is French for "expensive lenses." Fortunately for the case against Thomas (and unfortunately for him), an annoyingly persistent documentary filmmaker named Danny shot the whole making-of-the-movie that killed her,

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Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

They're trying to make aerobics into an Olympic sport--long overdue, isn't it?--and people are getting so nutzoid over this

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Nothing to Lose (1994)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

A guy in New Jersey got hauled into court for whacking a rat with a broom handle.

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Not of This Earth (1997)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

You ever get advice like this?

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No Contest (1995)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

All right, that's enough. Let's stop stealin one another's football teams. I was just gettin used to the Carolina Panthers,

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Nighty Nightmare (1990)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

How to make a horror film (the essential rules):

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Night Trap (1993)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

Well, the French have figured out how to solve the Croatian-Serbian-Bosnian-Herzegovinan ethnic Slavfest over there.

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Night of the Zombies (1981)

REVIEWS - Movie Reviews

I had to take Rhett Beavers out to the faith healer in Mabank last week or else I would had this sooner.

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