JBB @ Prettyscary.net
Dear Joe Bob,
My wife hates scary movies. I can't get enough of them, and I'm tired of her and her sister putting me down for watching them (like 'Marley and Me' and The 'Proposition' are Oscar contenders.) I really need to fix this problem, and I'm wondering since you've found a website of women who like horror movies if you have any suggestions about how I can change her into one of these girls...
What movies should I start out showing her? Maybe there's some immersion program I can send her to, like learning a foreign language? Or maybe I should just shut her pie hole with a gag, tie her up in the basement, and loop THE EXORCIST on the TV until she appreciates its genius?