The poster shows two beautiful blondes vamping for the camera, but the tag line is "They want your body . . . parts!"

Obviously we've got a little low-budget homage going on here, with parallels to the great twisted backwoods families of film history, a la "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Motel Hell." We've also got that perennial problem of the independent filmmaker--no money for cop cars and police uniforms. And there are a lot of cops, sheriffs, federal marshalls, SWAT teams, and the like running through this baby, most of them in blue jeans and work shirts. It could have been worse--the investigating cops in "Erotic Stalker" wore Bermuda shorts and Capri pants--but it does create a sort of Barney Fife Unreality around all the law enforcement confrontations.

Ultimately you don't care, because there's enough kung-fu cat-fighting, kitchen-table surgery and topless-bar fisticuffs to keep your mind off the community-theater-level acting and jump- cut editing. There's some especially fine butcher-knife work by a truly spooky actress named Leanna Chamish and a pretty convincing cheerleader-from-hell turn by blonde cutie Erin Palmisano. But for the most part there's just way too much fumbling around in the woods in places so dark that the actors sometimes disappear from the screen entirely.

This is the first production by producer Don Dohler and director Joe Ripple, who comprise the entire film inudstry of Perry Hall, Md., and they show a lot of promise, especially in the crucial horror areas of editing, photography and sound. As long as none of the cast is speaking, they can be pretty dang freaky. Dohler, for those of you on the inside, will be recognized as the publisher of various B-movie magazines like Cinemagic, Amazing Cinema and Movie Club. Ripple not only directs but plays the lead, as the plain-vanilla federal marshall who ends up getting shishkabobbed through the eye in what stands out as the best special effect of the entire film. Now that's a man who's determined to make movies.

They did the best with the 25 cents they had to make the movie. For example, the telltale sign that something is just not right at the Peelman house: Too many styrofoam picnic coolers! All together now: Oooooooooooooooo.

Thirteen dead bodies. Six breasts. One SWAT team attack. Whiskey bottle to the head. Pitchfork to the gizzards. Surgical instrument through the eyeball. Butcher-knife throat-slashing. Ear-hacking. Tree-limb impalement. Punji-stick catapult to the stomach. Flying land mine to the face, with goo. Neck-snapping. Two catfights, with hair-pulling. Gratuitous drag queen. Kung Fu. Lesbo Fu. Bimbo Fu. Chloroform Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Patty Cipoletti, in the thankless role of the "girl partner," for saying "She's an all-around dangerous woman"; Carlos Bustamante as the codeine-craving loose cannon; Erin Palmisano, as the creepy little sister, who explains the blood all over her by saying "I was at a club--must have been too close to a fistfight"; Leanna Chamish, as the steely-eyed woman of the house, who says "I will not have a stranger sleeping on my sheets!" even when the stranger has a gun in her face; George Stover as the man trying to keep his family together, for saying "How many times do I have to tell you? Never in the eye! Your just cost us a lot of money!"; and Donna Sherman, as the rampaging Rambette.

Two and a half stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

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