Italian goremaster Lucio Fulci
starts it off with scissors rammed through a teenager's heart,
followed by his girlfriend getting a knife through the back of
her head, emerging out of her mouth. And then it gets GRISLY. Our
typical American family--even though they look and sound Italian,
we know they're American by the Corn Flakes on the breakfast
table--moved to the New England house where the teens were
shishkabobbed, and pretty soon their little blond son starts
seeing visions of this spooky Sissy Spacek girl who tells him not
to go in the house, making her point by cutting the heads off all
her dolls and making blood pour out of their bodies. The
babysitter gets attacked by a huge blood-sucking slime-spewing
bat in the cellar, then mom finds a grave under the floor while
cleaning. "It's bad enough living next to a cemetery," she whines
to Dad, "but do we have to live with a tomb in our hallway?" He
tells her that yes they do and please take a Valium. Then a
zombie realtor comes by when nobody's home, and the tomb cracks
open and swallows up her leg and something with scales on it
comes up out of the basement and goes to work with a crowbar:
stomach first, then chest, then jugular. By the end of the flick,
we have enough liquid to open a Plasma Center. One throat-
cutting, slow motion, ear-to-ear, three times on the same lady.
Two heads roll (one down the stairs). Underground meatlocker
scene. Maggots in the throat. Great slime glopola lizard-face
genetic-DNA creature attack. Nine dead bodies. An 83 on the Vomit
Meter. Twelve gallons blood. Two breasts. One of Big Lucy's best. 
|