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FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN |
Jason knows that if he can make it there, he can make it
anywhere, but screenwriter Rob Hedden thinks you need a REASON
for Jason to go to New York, so they spend the first hour on a
cruise ship motoring up from Crystal Lake while Jason runs around
sticking butcher knives in cheerleaders and transforming himself
into a nekkid drowning child that can pop in and out of the lead
bimbo's dream. A raggedy man runs around the ship screaming
"We're DOOMED," "You people are dead," "Jason is back!"--and
Jason kills some more people. Then there's some talking. Then
Jason kills a whole bunch of people. Then the ship sinks and the
only people left get on a lifeboat and row to New York. And then
Jason gets bored and kills some muggers and rides the subway. And
then the movie gets really violent. Twenty dead bodies (including
the three times Jason dies). One breast. One motor vehicle chase,
with crash and burn. Heads roll. One giant rat. Two muggings.
Three harpoonings. One throat slitting. One spike impalement. One
ax in back. One barbecued teenager. Electric guitar brain-
smashing. Steaming sauna rock through the chest. Jagged-glass
face-smashing. Disco dance-floor strangulation. Metal-pipe head-
bashing. Houseboat aardvarking. Excellent "Nightmare on Elm
Street" bloody-faucet ripoff effect. Gratuitous off-key version
of "New York, New York." Gratuitous reference to Stephen King.
Heroin Fu. Chemical waste Fu. With Sharlene Martin as the prom
queen who labels her body parts as her biology project ("Julius
is the only senior I would even consider doing it with"), Peter
Mark Richman as the dimwit authority figure ("Walking corpses are
not real"). |
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs All Rights Reserved.