An inspired cross between "Jurassic
Park" and "Monster on Party Beach," the ultimate story of
prehistoric bikini babes wearing nothing but furry loin cloths
and animal-skin tops, running around a desert island being chased
by giant dinosaurs and ripping off their clothes for some
stranded Army guys who wash up on shore. It has everything:
virgin sacrifice, Amazon river bathing, jungle hot-tub massage,
cheesy dinosaur attacks, catfights, pterodactyl-hunting, purple
cave monsters, and, of course, primitive pesticide laboratories.
Brought to us by the can't-mss ultra-low-budget directing team of
Jim "Remove Your Tops, Please" Wynorski and Fred Olen "That Looks
Good Enough For Me" Ray. Four dead bodies. Three dead dinosaurs.
Twenty-four breasts. Soldier-munching. Bimbo-chewing. Exploding
dinosaur head. With Nikki Fritz as the blue-bodied high priestess
who dances around like a dancer from Goldfinger's Topless who's
done too much acid, Ross Hagen as the grizzled old Army veteran
who lands on the island with three goofball prisoners, Richard
Gabai as the private who washes ashore ("Please, God, let it be
Club Med"), Griffen Drew as athe prehistoric bimbo who says
"Teach me page 34!," Toni Naples as the Amazon queen, Michelle
Bauer as the catfighting virgin, Peter Spellos as the obligatory
fat guy ("It's time to kick some monster ass!"), Thom Shell as
the brainy guy who finds a giant blue dinosaur egg ("My God,
think of the cholesterol"), Antonia Dorian as the dimwit
soothsayer.
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