BARBARIAN QUEEN 
(1985)

(From Joe Bob's Ultimate B Movie Guide)


Lana Clarkson, who comes across as a Malibu beach bunny in a loincloth, says "I'll be no man's slave and no man's whore!" in this low-budget sword-and-sorcery epic made by Roger Corman in Argentina. First the Invading Hordes carry off a few virgins, rape some tribal mothers, fire a few slow-motion arrows through the head, burn some bamboo, and pretty much turn the jungle into Newark. The Barbarian Queen, who has arms like a couple of No. 2 Faber pencils, manages to escape in a canoe with a couple other ancient bimbo tribeswomen who wear Mary Kay Cosmetics, but first she has to clobber six Meskin guys with a cardboard sword. On their journey to freedom, one of the bimbos has rape-mares, then the blind old lady Soothsayer warns them, right before the gratuitous gang rape that's necessary to the plot, and eventually they arrive at the Fortress City, where they're tortured by a guy who says: "You know, pain is a wonderful thing. You are much too beautiful girl to let yourself be broken into food for the royal dogs. When I command you to strip your garment off, you do as I say!" Unfortunately, Mr. Body Grease, the gladiator, shows up to ruin everybody's fun. Forty- six breasts, including two on the male lead. Thirty-one dead bodies. Heads roll. Head spills. Three gang rapes. Women in chains. Orgy. Slave-girl sharing. One bird's-nest bra. The diabolical garbonza torture. Sword Fu. Torch Fu. Thigh Fu (you have to see it to believe it). Directed by Hector Olivera. 

 

 

 

 

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