ARCHIVE - 004
Joe
Bob,
What ever happened to Sybil Danning-the Rip Away Bra Queen?
Scott
Dear Scott,
That's sort of a mystery. The last Sybil Danning film I'm aware
of is "L.A. Bounty" (reviewed on my website). It was
supposed to be the first in a series of action films produced by
her own production company. But while training for the next one,
she fell practicing a stunt and injured her back. And I guess it
was bad enough to end her career. It's a total shame. About a
year ago she announced a website, but it never really had any
content. Maybe someone else will know.
Joe Bob
Hello Joe Bob,
Do you think people are malingering a bit on this TNT farewell?
Don't just burn that bridge, do a River Kwai number on those
turkeys.
But
in your chat, you said you had never seen the President's
Analyst. It was a 1960s movie with James Coburn. Do you
think you will see it and write a review on it?
Mike Hayne
Dear Mike,
Malingering? No way. You think I have any regrets about blowing
up that bridge? Hoo boy no way.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Is there any chance that you will be appearing in Las Vegas in
2000 or 2001? If so, please let me know where and when. I moved
to "Sin City" in December of 1999 and they have a lot
of crap here like "Footloose the Musical", "Siegfried
& Roy" etc. Okay, they have topless revues but nekkid
chicks can't make up for all of it(just my opinion after
all, I am a girl).
I say: "To hell with TNT!" - what's more their
wrestling show (WCW) absolutely SUCKS! They don't know a
good thing when it bites them on the ass.
Thank you for all the years of satire, witticism and all around
funny stuff. Hope to see & hear ya somewhere soon. Hope it's
a paying gig, too.
Yours Truly,
Amy Chronister
Las Vegas, NV
PS It's wonderful to know that you read AND answer your letters.
Thanks again.
Dear Amy,
Las Vegas is not real big on comedians right now. I do a sort of
theatrical "storytelling" type of show that plays best
in an auditorium-type environment. I probably wouldn't be right
for one of those casino comedy-club venues. Based on what I saw
there, they're going mostly for big extravagant special effects
shows.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob:
Some years back, your office contacted me for a copy of my
feature film, DELINQUENT, for review. As the movie was just a
babe, I thought I'd wait til it was steaming toward your readers.
That time has now come. DELINQUENT, which took its time as it 1)
sold on five continents 2) played theatrically in 11 states,
winning very good reviews 3) got a home video deal, and is coming
out in November via EI Independent Cinema.
Are you interested? If so, please tell me where to send it - I
presume the old address is truly old.
I'd really appreciate your taking a look and letting me have
whatever your guts put forth.
Yours,
Peter Hall
Dear Peter,
I'd be happy to take a look at the film, and none of my various
addresses ever go out of date. So send it on!
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Have you seen the movie entitled "Cemetary Man"? About
a guy who is the caretaker of the town graveyard; his last name
is, appropriately enough, DeLamorte or Delamorte. It's been 4
years or so since I last saw this one so I don't recall the
director, actors, etc. I just remember that I liked it, I liked
it a lot. I haven't been able to locate it since. Hope you can
help.
Thanks,
Amy Chronister
Las Vegas, NV
Dear Amy,
"Cemetery Man" is a minor cult favorite and widely
available on video, so I'm stumped as to why you can't find it.
Maybe you need to go to a specialty video store.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
My summer vacation this year was a week at the beach(front condo)
in San Diego. Made up my mind two years ago that I'm going to buy
a house overlooking the water there someday.
Took my girls to the Hotel del Coronado, because the movie
"Some Like it Hot" was filmed there and we wanted to
see it. While downstairs in the gift shop, the quest was for some
kind of memerobilia from the making of the movie, of which there
was none to speak. There *were*, however, souvenirs
(videocassettes, etc.) of the movie, "Somewhere in
Time" (one of your "favorites", ha!). Wait a
minute, this does not compute -- I know that movie was set at
"The Grand Hotel", and it was by a lake, not the ocean.
A mystery...
When I got home, I scrutinized the credits (okay, okay... I own
the movie, it was a gift. It's the ultimate "chick
flick" because it is SO SAD and romantic). It
confirmed the location, and NO MENTION of the Hotel del Coronado.
Aha! Richard Matheson wrote the screenplay as well as the book,
different title ("Bid Time Return").
Side note: I realize YOU probably know all this and must have
mentioned it when you had the film on your show. Sorry,
professor, I fell asleep in class.
No problem, I told myself. I'll just check the book out of the
library and read it. Besides, they must have left something out
(like, did her manager know about the time travel, hence
predicting Richard's arrival?) Main library, looked it up and not
a single copy in the entire county. Called the bookstores and
"used" bookstores -- nobody's got a copy! I was tipped
to an online used book outlet (ABEbooks.com -- a goldmine!), and
found about a dozen copies, under BOTH titles (it was renamed
"Somewhere in Time" after the movie), and various
printings. I anxiously awaited my signed copy.
Devoured the book -- always better than the movie, just like they
say. The guy was *terminal* with a brain tumor, and a TV writer
from El Lay -- not a playrwright from Chicago! To "see the
world" before he died, he'd flipped a coin ("heads
north, tails south) and wound up in San Diego and then, tah dah!,
the Hotel del Coronado. Son of a gun...
Many details (major and minor) were changed in the movie --
important ones, that gave the story substance and penetrated the
heart so much more deeply. I wonder when the author turned
over his artistic control (sold his soul) and allowed that
"puff piece" of a movie to be produced! The Hotel del
Coronado is *infinitely* more beautiful than the Grand Hotel --
perhaps they got a better location price. And, sorry, Christopher
Reeve (God bless him) was pretty enough, but so shallow in the
role. (Jane Seymour was a dead on match, but stifled).
In the book, Richard was the tortured, lovesick and obsessed
wretch that all of us have been at one time in our lives,
perishing for the object of our affection in the moments apart
from them. (Elise's surrender -- totally uncharacteristic for
her, following her heart instead of her commitments -- was all
too familiar. I was reminded of a long distance romance of a few
years back -- the pain and reminiscence were very sweet, indeed).
Watched the movie again, and it was CRAP! So now we agree.
It's a strange road that leads us to who knows where. And, oh, if
"time travel" were only possible...
--Melissa McConnell,
Pittsburg, CA
Melissa,
That hotel they used in "Somewhere in Time" became
famous primarily BECAUSE of the movie. It's on Mackinaw Island in
northern Michigan. No cars allowed. But, of course, in the movie
there are cars! I guess they changed the writer's hometown to
Chicago because it doesn't make sense for an LA writer to
vacation in northern Michigan. Are you sure it was Chicago in the
movie? And no, Chris Reeve is not the greatest actor in the
world, but do you think Jane Seymour IS? Please.
The Hotel Del Coronado has some connection to "The Wizard of
Oz."
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Where can I find out about this movie--who the guy was who wrote
and directed it, why there are so many titles, why it was made in
'59 and not released until '61, why it doesn't seem to be a cult
movie (or even known at any of the movie buff rental places like
Kim's or Video Room or The Movie Place), and how to tell whether
I have the cut or the uncut version? Any knowledge or information
you could share would be wildly appreciated. It's the scariest
movie ever made.
Many thanks,
Mimi Kramer
Dear Mimi,
If your video is titled "Mania," that should be the
full uncut British 1959 version. If you have "Flesh and the
Fiends," then that's the drastically cut version released in
America only. There's frequently a lapse between the date of
European release and the date of American release, and this was
even more true in the fifties, sixties and seventies. John
Gilling is the name of the British writer/director who made it,
and, of course, horror fans are always delighted to see the young
Donald Pleasence as one of the graverobbers.
Joe Bob
OK,
I read the letters, I surfed the site, and I saw your comments. I
gots 3 things to say about the whole monstervision/get-a-job
thing: Monstervision was OK, but the only reason I watched was to
hear your comments; and whatever you do in the future, I
guarantee that I'll be watching, even if it has nothing
whatsoever to do with movies.
And, finally, get a job, man. You're making the rest of us hicks
look downright productive.
James Fields
Mishawaka, IN
Dear James,
It's part of my image to rarely have a productive job AND to get
fired from the unproductive job I do have.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
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Bill Crown
Bill,
Now was that really necessary?
Joe Bob
Hi Joe Bob,
I just read the news about MonsterVision, and I'm going to miss
it. How could they do that, or was it your decision? I noticed it
wasn't on television, or I was either missing it every Saturday
night, but the web page pretty much explained it. I really
enjoyed it, had a few laughs, and enjoyed the horror movies. Do
you think you will host another show again? Its only that, you
were the last real horror host. I will miss MonsterVision..............E-mail
me back if you wish. By the way, what are you doing now that
MonsterVision is done? Well, whatever you decide, I wish you the
best. See Ya!
Anthony
Dear Anthony,
I was the LAST horror host? Is that true? I'm the last of a
breed?
Joe Bob
hey
whats up how's it going .im a young lad and think u kick ass i ve
been watching monstervision ever since it started and i
loved it till the jackass people closed it that was gay i thought
.heck the only reason i watched the show was to see u and what u
say heck some of the movies i never saw and some i liked i keep
trying to get a t- shirt so one day when i went to see a show at
phillps arena i went in to the cnn center and just bought the
shirt .well i live in georgia in gwinnett in a small town called
snellville /grayson .well please right i know your busy but
when ever u have time just drop me a line are u going to host any
other shows if so please tell me well thats all u have nice day
shawn dawg
Snellville, GA
Dear Shawn,
Are they still selling those shirts? They never even sent one to
ME! That should tell you something right there, huh?
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Remember me? I sent you that site to visit a few weeks ago, but
it wouldn't load. Either way, I think it should work by now, so
give it another look when you get the chance: www.geocities.com/thephatmaestro
And if it does work this time, do me a huge favor and sign the
guestbook down at the bottom. I'd really, really appreciate it,
cause you're the man!
So anyway, keep being the man and do something cool in the near
future so your fans can be assured that you're really here,
and not abducted by aliens!
Your biggest fan in the hellhole called Forsyth County,
Kane Miller
Dear Kane,
I loved it! If you truly want to make an authentic Crappy
Independent Horror Project, you'll never finish the script.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob --
I tried to sign up for the Tightcircle just now, which the
homepage says is "recovered" but it wouldn't take me. I
feel so rejected......snif snif. ope it isn't just me.
On a livelier note, have you ever considered running for office?
I think you and Michael Moore would make a good team. You've both
got a passel of brains and are both articulate in a
wonderfully Populist way. I wouldn't care which one of you wanted
to be Pres and Vice Pres, but part of your campaign could be
changing the two offices to CoPresidents -- sharing the
responsibilities, so to speak. I know I'd vote for you, although
my son is so disgusted, he's thinking of writing in Jesse Ventura
and Mr. T.
Please let me know if you're gonna be around the Buffalo area
(don't forget we've still got the drive-in here....as well as
chicken wings [created here!], Texas Hots, and Roast Beef on
Kummelweck!)...
xo
Robin Kay W.
Buffalo, NY
Dear Robin,
When people in Buffalo eat chicken wings, do they call them
ochester Wings?
Best,
Joe Bob
In "Advice to the Hopeless," someone asked you about a
movie called "Eyes Without a Face." I'm sure
someone has responded about this already, but I'll throw my two
cents in. It does exist, I've seen it. Don't know director or
actors, though I think they're fairly obscure. Fifties, black and
white, U.S.A. Plot: Sanitarium doctor's daughter gets in
bad car wreck, it destroys her face. He abducts beautiful
young girls (don't they always?), and tries to graft their faces
on to his daughter's. Never works, lots of dead chicks. The
surgery scenes are pretty graphic and well done, those are
probably the ones that stuck in that woman's head. Daughter wears
a white mask, can't stand all the killing. Lots of dogs caged up
for experiments, of course they break free and wreak havoc. Read
about it in some Premiere magazine list a few years back. It's
pretty good.
Pining for the fjords,
Ursuline Labravski
New York City, NY
Joe Bob,
RE: Stripteaser
Definitely a **** (four star movie) Ann Marie Holman was HOT!
When she strips for psycho Rick Dean they cut out the part where
he fondles her body with his automatic...all over her nekkid
body! They persuaded Ann Marie to take it all off for the scene,
because originally she was going to keep her knickers on. Good
call , guys! Why not keep the gun fondling in? Was that MORE
outrageous than crucifying Maria Ford's ex boyfriend? You're
right, they should have told Demi Moore to get lost and hired
both Ann Marie and Maria to replace her. They could have split
the 12.5million.
Trivia: Julie K. Smith taught Demi her stripping moves. Guess
Demi wasn't paying attention, huh? Incidentally Julie was a
"live wire" in " Midnight Tease 2 " She's a
real pro when it comes to takin' it off.
Frank T Rolapp
University Place, WA
Dear Frank,
Julie K. taught Demi Moore all her moves? I know Julie! That gal
is everywhere.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Joe
Bob,
You may not be a DR. WHO series fan but there's a site by one on
building the robot like 'DALEKS'.....URL:
www.dalekcity.co.uk
There's also one on the classic LOST IN SPACE Robot, ' B9 ' for
building these lifesize.....URL: ??? I don't know that one but
it's called THE B9 ROBOT BUILDERS CLUB.
Enjoy....and smoke 'em if ya got 'em.
Larry Smith
Dear Larry,
Well, that's a little obsessive, don't ya think? Especially when
you consider how lousy their special effects were in the first
place.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Hey Joe!
Why do all you inty-lecshewel critic types gush over guys who
strut around firing off fake penii (Glock automatic version) but
when some chicks go to war with their natural-born weaponry you
don't get it AT ALL?
James Stuart
Dear Jimbo,
I have no idea what you're talking about. If it's the movie
"Showgirls," then the main weaponry employed was deadly
dialogue. If you're talking about showgirls in general, I'm in
awe of them. Any girl who can walk on five-inch stilettos with a
chandelier on her head, topless, is my kinda gal. In fact, I'm
appalled that the Folies Bergere, at the Tropicana,
recently went non-topless at the early show. What is happening to
this country?
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob:
Didja get a chance to get and see GODZILLA 2000? Man, whatta cool
flick. Saw it in a PACKED movie house, and everyone came
out sayin' "NOW THAT was a GODZILLA film!" Not
that Roland Emmerich over-done production of two years ago...
Sony's marketing plan for this Japanese low-budgeter($12m) was to
cash in on the "baby-boomer nostalgia of the old movies
& drive-in fare". Well, SOMEONE up there likes us, huh?
The movie was basically uncut, save for some trimming and some
new musical scoring in certain areas, but, frankly that did the
film much better, and unlike adding Raymond Burr to the '54 and
'84 films, it's a much better experience.
Best to you-
Bob Eggleton
Dear Bob,
Yeah, it's a pretty much universal thumbs-up among the drive-in
faithful. Only the Japanese know how to do the G-man.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Hello Joe,
My question is in regards to your description of the movie The
Wraith in your B Movie guide. Where did you get the information
on the Black Turbo Interceptor? I have been searching for info on
that car for years and couldn't even get a Chrysler executive to
acknowledge the existence of the car. Any ideas as to where this
car is today or any technical specs? I noticed you mentioned a
tube chassis, how did you know?
Thank you so much for your time,
James A. Phillips
Hollywood, FL
Dear James,
I'm pretty sure the information on the Turbo Interceptor came
from the press kit, although it might have come from the
director, who occasionally writes to me. I think people are a
little hesitant to talk about that movie because of the deaths
that occurred while they were making it.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Voyage to the bottom of the sea is one of my favorites. i like
watching sci fi, but i am also interested in the behind the
scenes tech stuff as well. i like to watch shows about how they
do special effects, especially CGI. Some of the stuff they can do
is amazing, especially morphing like they did for terminator 2. I
thought that was great. toy story is great too. especially
since i love carttons and anime. I have a minor in theatre and
have taken a theatre makeup class as well as working with
costumes. i think my fav. costumes/makeup would be for planet of
the apes. although, i love some of the really cheesy
costumes/makeup from old tv and movies. some of it is just too
funny. i'm also a huge dr. who fan. can't beat it for cheesy
costumes :)
ttfn
bonnie
ps- are you a sid and marty croft fan?
Bonnie,
Absolutely. Sid and Marty Kroft are the best. I even like the
marionettes. Remember them? Sid and Marty Kroft may the last
nationally known marionette team in American history.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Hey! I was just reading some of your archived letters in the
Advice to the Hopeless and came across the letter from Kathleen
Sanchez. She was asking about EYES WITHOUT A FACE and she had you
stumped. That is the UK title of the film, the original title is
"Les Yeux sans visage" (1959). The US title was
released in 1962 as "The Horror Chamber of Dr. Faustus."
And can also be found under "House of Dr. Rasanoff."
The plot: A surgeon was responsible for his daughter's facial
disfigurement (she wears a mask) in an accident. He attempts,
without success, to transfer faces of kidnapped young women to
his daughter.
She can find the video at Amazon for around $27. Of course, using
the handy dandy link from The Joe Bob Report.
smoochies!!
Ann Malone
Sherman, TX
Ann,
Well, what a little Sherlocka Holmes you are!
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob,
Over on a Bulletin Board for model kit fans, someone asks what
horror TV hosts folks would want models of......mental ' M' ing
stuff I guess. My choices were COMMANDER USA, SEYMORE and
JOE-BOB BRIGGS. I swear EVERY host was listed, the majority I
never heard of as most, even ZACKERLY I guess, were'nt seen
nation wide. It pains me that I never saw much of COM USA cause I
needed a descrambler box in those days.....for most of his long
(?) run. There just aint many nationally seen horror hosts.
Unless that changes if one has a satelite dish?
Larry Smith
Dear Larry,
What about Elvira? She would have to be number one, don't you
think?
Joe Bob
Yes, Joe Bob,
I, too, really miss MonsterVision. (Theoretically, it may exist,
but it could not really be MonsterVision without you. They
know this: the website says "Closed for the Season" and
I would not be surprised if it closed for good.) I actually got
cable again when I moved from Texas to the (much more expensive)
Si Valley, just so I could watch you on MonsterVision.
Still, I think TW did you and the entire country a favor. Now
that you are under-employed (which won't last long), isn't it
time for The Return of Iron Joe Bob? I have had to buy five
copies of the original since I would lent them to (sequential)
boyfriends, who refused to give them back (actually they all
said, "Hey, this was a gift, right?"), and I think the
country needs IJB again. It is possible that the Virgin Mary was
communicating to you without your knowing it, otherwise, how
could so much of it look like prophecy? Either that or do you
think you were Jonathan Swift in your last life??
Anyway, I miss you Joe Bob but, I hope, not for long. You may
have lost this job but never your fans and you will have fun with
whatever you do next -- and so will we.
(Did you ever turn up "Count Yorga, Vampire"? I saw it
when I was a kid and ran out of the theater...)
Best wishes!
Danita Maseles
Si Valley, CA
Dear Danita,
You're not the only one. You have no idea how many copies of
"Iron Joe Bob" I've signed as gifts from girlfriends to
their boyfriends, which is strange when you realize that much of
the book is about how to STRAIGHTEN THAT SPEAR, right? I mean,
some guys might interpret it as a HINT. No complaints so far,
though.
Preciate all the words of support, hon. Are you on boyfriend
number six yet?
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
This is just a rather random thing--I was reading the
"Advice to the Hopeless" letters on your website and
saw one letter that I have info regarding in case you would want
to post it for that person's benefit. Hope it helps.
Diana Pearson
Los Angeles, CA
Here's the original letter:
Joe Bob,
Have you seen "Horror, Sci Fi & Fantasy Movie
Posters"? Movies Unlimited sells it.....no author is named.
Are there color posters in it? 80 pages.....is it worth one's
while?
Larry Smith
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's what I have to post:
I HAVE this book & "Horror Movie Posters." Both
books are by Bruce Herschenson and contain 80 pages of color
movie poster reprints (generally about 5 posters to a page,
though some have a full page to themselves). The posters in the
"Horror Sci-Fi & Fantasy" book range from "The
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" to"The Blair Witch
Project." There is NO accompanying text other than a 1
page introduction, just the posters with the name, year, and
poster style listed below the image (ie. Italian poster, lobby
card, reissue, etc.). The book is arranged chronologically,
with the earliest poster being 1909, and the most current being
1999. If you want the images, I highly recommend it. The other
"Horror Movie Posters" book is basically the same, but
mainly comprised of classic horror film posters. It has a pretty
good
assortment of 80s horror flick posters as well. These are
actually just 2 volumes in a series of 22 books that you can
purchase in a number of movie generes (ie. cartoons, crime,
cowboy, academy awards, etc.) There is an "Attack of the
B-Movie Posters" book slated to come out next month.
"Horror Sci-Fi & Fantasy" is Vol. 11, and
"Horror" is Vol. 7. The images are all from the
Hershenson-Allen Archive. You can visit their info-packed
website, and see images from the books at http://www.emovieposter.com
Well Joe Bob...
I used to think Ted Turner was a real revolutionary, a
Viking...but he let those ol' boys from New York push him around
there at TNT. (I think he's starting to lose his edge.) And he
threw it all away...a chance to hang out with a living Texas
legend! Heck, they don't know any better...they probably don't
even know who Stevie Ray Vaughan is, either! Anyway, who
needs 'em...you'll get a bigger gig in time. I think you've
really out-grown TNT, anyway, man. Every Saturday nite, me and my
boys here in Dallas used to grab some Tex-Mex grub, meet over at
my place down off lower Greenville, check out MonsterVision, and
throw back a few Shiners--all at the same time...now that's
coordination. We turned it into a tradition as big as my family's
Thanksgiving in Decatur. Let me put it to you this way--as a
young man who was conceived in the back seat of a Plymouth at a
Wichita Falls drive-in, your show is darn-near in my blood...and
I have to watch it, just like the pope has to go to church. So,
keep us posted on where you might pop up next! And kick a
shout back at me if you get a minute.
Thanks
Stormin Norman Willis
Dallas, TX
P.S. - I'm driving out to California to visit my sister in a
couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward to the many cultural
attractions along Route 66. And I hope to find a good drive-in
along the way. (I think there's one around Amarillo or
thereabouts.) I WILL be leaving my mark (probably in the form of
about 20 cans of pink and green spray paint) at Cadillac
Ranch...I can promise you that!
Dear Stormin Norman,
Nothing like a little psychotic road-trip savagery to pump up the
adrenaline, so good luck at the Cadillac Ranch. I don't think
you're gonna find a drive-in in the Panhandle, though. I've
driven Route 66 quite a few times, and as I recall, Oklahoma is
the last holdout.
Joe Bob
JB --
They did it , darlin'. TNT has shut down Monstervision. It
coudn't go on without the Master and now they'll have more time
to run the same 10 freakin' movies all the time. (You couldn't
miss "Fallen" the last two weeks unless you erased the
channel from your set.)
My only problem is that I never finished downloading all the
transcripts. Do the rights revert to you or is Ted gonna use to
woo some sweet young things? However, to be fair the site does
give the Joe Bob Briggs Report pride of place.
Still hoping you'll grace the Philly area with your presence
soon.
Linda J. Ginsburg
Huntingdon Valley, PA
Dear Linda,
That's very sweet of you to think that anyone would argue over
the commercial rights to old "MonsterVision"
transcripts. I'm sure that whoever wants em can have em!
Best,
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob,
Hate to be a pain in the ass and e-mail you again, but I thought
I'd get a definite answer from you. Recently I was watching the
spectacular 1993 American movie classic "Army of
Darkness". Of course in the final part of the movie Bruce
Campbell's spaghettio-faced twin returns from the dead, and later
turns babe Embeth Davidtz into a "deadite". Anyway, for
ages now I've wondered if beneath all the make-up was
Campbell and Davidtz. I've e-mailed Bruce at his page --- never
got an answer (like "Jack of All Trades" is
really taking up all his time!). I then went to ask all the Evil
Dead/Bruce Campbell nerds, and got all kinds of wacky answers. I
finally decided to e-mail you, because you pretty much know
all kinds of nutty facts about every movie made. Thanks for your
time, and I hope you know by my bad description what the hell I'm
talking about.
--- D. Kemp
Dear D.,
Well, I don't know the answer, but Bruce is normally pretty good
about answering stuff like that. My guess would be no. There's no
reason to keep a couple of actors around for something that's
basically a makeup and stuntman job.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Not that I'm a big fan of Nike or anything, but I did get a kick
out of their "Why Sport?" ad featuring long distance
runner Suzy Hamilton outlasting a Jason/Leatherface/Shape wannabe
going after her with a chainsaw. The bad guy doesn't hurt more
than a door, but some folks complained, and both NBC and ESPN
pulled the commercial. I guess it goes to show that suggesting
something can get people as riled up as actually showing some
_________ (fill in the black with gore, sex, whatever).
And, of course, it means I watch to much TV.
Anne Bleyman
Durham, NC
Dear Anne,
I
agree that that was a pretty funny commercial. I was amazed when
everybody got whacked out about it. But here's what's even
weirder. A few days after Nike pulled that one, they started
running ANOTHER one that shows a skateboarder being chased by
these gladiators wielding maces, pickaxes, swords--in other
words, a LOT more guys with a LOT more weaponry than the chainsaw
attacker--and, of course, the skateboarder, through his superior
athletic skill, gets away. Isn't this the EXACT SAME commercial?
No protest! What's the f-ing difference?
Best,
JB
Joe Bob,
Your right, the Nike gladiator ad has the same message as the
pulled ad. Not only that, but Ms. Hamilton got cleanly away
in her ad with the chainsaw guy giving up, while the gladiator is
still out there waiting to take on the skateboarder. I can't
figure out whether men should be upset because no one cares about
their safety or women because it means no one thinks they can
look after themselves. Good grief.
Anne Bleyman
Durham, NC
Anne,
So you think it was a male-female issue? What if the chainsaw
killer had been female? Would that make it okay?
JB
John,
Then we're back to the original "Friday the 13th." In
that padded getup that the chainsaw wielder was in, how would one
know it's NOT already a woman? Ditto for the gladiator in the
other ad.
Anne Bleyman
Durham, NC
Anne,
As a matter of fact, I think it's part of the "Friday the
13th" convention that the chainsaw killer almost always
turns out to be either a woman or a transvestite. Right?
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
i know what traditional marionettes are. puppets w/strings. i'm
trying to think which characters in the kroft shows would have
been marionettes. maybe the dorse in lost saucer? mostly i saw
sigmund and the sea monsters, lost saucer, bugaloos, hr
puffinstuff, and land of the lost. were cling and clang
marionettes? i never really thought about it before. you must be
a muppets fan if you like marionettes. muppet is supposed to be a
cross between puppet and marionette. i was heart broken when jim
henson died. i grew up watching the muppets. i always loved gonzo
and fozzy bear. i remember they did an episode w/different types
of puppetry. they did some japanese puppetry that was really
beautiful. this probably has some typos in it. i'm watching
indiana jones on the sci fi channel. they're doing it letterbox
format. they're also running babylon 5 wide screen. i like star
trek, but i've always thought b5 was better. better internal
confilct and better character interaction between the core
characters. i never liked how gene rodenberry insisted that star
trek next gen had to be warm and fuzzy. garibaldi is much more
interesting than riker.
guess that's it for now. i'd really be interested to hear more
about sid and marty and their marionettes. their shows were
truely psychadelic, not to mention slightly weird. but that's
what made em fun.
ttfn
bonnie
Dear Bonnie,
The marionettes were just these wooden marionettes that were
manipulated by Sid and Marty Kroft themselves. Usually they would
appear on "Ed Sulivan" or "The Dean Martin
Show" or one of those old variety shows. I think it's what
they started out doing.
Best,
Joe Bob
Mr Briggs:
I am a moderator of an egroup devoted to Catholic social and
cultural issues. The subject has gotten around to helping the
homeless. I wanted to refer participants to one of the few
intelligent articles I've ever read on helping the homeless --
yours. To be more precise, "What the Homeless Really, Really
Need, and Why They'll Never get it," from the May/June 1996
issue of The Door magazine. Do you have an online version of that
for which I could provide a link? Or am I gonna have to type this
sucker?
Thanks for listening.
David L. Alexander
Arlington, VA
Dear David,
Well, bud, I don't rightly remember, but I think the Door article
was adapted from a couple of syndicate columns I did for The New
York Times Syndicate around that time. If you could wait a little
while, we'll eventually have all those up on my website, but for
the time being you'll have to type.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
I'm the cornfed dame Iowa, who lives on that farm by the railroad
tracks. You picked me up at the Casey's on the corner when you
were gett'n gas for yer truck. You said you liked the way I was
eat'n my popsicle. You told me I had nice braids and freckles and
asked if you could show me yer reclin'n seats. I don't know if
you remember me, but you probably remember my Dad chas'n you
through the feilds with a pitchfork after he found us roll'n
round in the hay up in the barn. I really like you a whole lot
and thought since you were on TV and wrote some books and stuff ,
you might have a double wide trailer by now. If so, ya wanna
hitch up? Cuz I'm tired of tak'n bathes with pigs! I'm a real
good cook.
Your gal,
Daisy May
Dear Daisy May,
I think you're beautiful. Did your face ever clear up?
Joe Bob
Hey, Joe Bob:
With everyone making suggestions as to what network your next
show may land on, have you considered the Lifetime Network?
Just kidding! Anyway, I reread "Iron Joe Bob" a few
weeks ago, and noticed that my wife has been watching a lot of
Lifetime, and I've realized that just about every single man in a
movie shown on Lifetime is a wife-beating, kid-beating,
alcoholic, drug addicted, philandering, smelly and psychotic guy.
I saw Jaclyn Smith get beat up by two different men in two
different movies during the same week. If someone only watched
Lifetime, they would probably get the impression that all men are
scumbags who beat up Jaclyn Smith. Is it just me, or is Lifetime
misrepresenting American men? Is there a Guy Anti-Defamation
league out there that can set them straight? Maybe if you brought
"Drive-In Theater" to Lifetime, you could show a more
balanced portrayal.
The only benefit of Lifetime is that it makes me look really good
to my wife. Unlike the men in the Lifetime movies, I don't smack
my wife around. "See, honey, you're lucky, I don't
beat you like those husbands on Lifetime. You should
appreciate me more" has become my mantra.
Get back on the tube soon - it's really boring without you.
Sean Whitley
Dallas, TX
Dear Sean,
You don't smack her around? Really? Even when she begs for it?
Maybe YOU'VE been watching too much Lifetime.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Do you realize now that we've had to go back watchin' HBO. Oh,
where have you gone? As we have been out of touch with our recent
house move, we do so miss your Monster Vision, but are hoping
that you are out there some where on 4DTV. If you've some place
new, where have you gone? Or are you giving to David Letterman a
run for his money? The sex flicks on HBO are gettin' old.
Life around the BBQ pit ain't been the same,
Hope to hear from you soon,
M & L
Erik Igo
Dear Erik,
Hey, you're watching the wrong sex flicks. The ones on Showtime
are MUCH cheesier. But thanks for the words of support. I should
be back up and running any day now.
Joe Bob
Dear TNT,
We
really miss Joe Bob. Saturday night is not the same without him.
Of all the things available to watch, we chose him and your
station (now we don't). Bad choice, guys. He was our
"bud." He was about the only thing my husband, my
two teenagers with purple and orange hair, and I, an old
conservative, liked in common. As my kids said "Joe Bob
rules." My husband's comments: "It sucks that
they took Joe Bob off now that I am not working all night
on Sat. nights and could watch him." Do you hear the
sorrow in our voices?
jo ann cool
Dear Jo Ann,
I'm still your bud, hon. Don't worry. We'll find a new place to
meet.
All my best,
Joe Bob
hello joe,
i'm wondering if you are still hosting your monster vision
programs on tnt ,,( or is it tbs)?,,,been awhile,,,ain't seen or
heard from ya,,,,let me know something soon please,, thanks:)....
Ben Willimams
Longview, TX
Dear Ben,
Carnage has occurred. The apocalypse is near. You need to go to
my website and read the sad story in the "Advice to the
Hopeless" section. Write again if you need medical
assistance.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
A few weeks ago my wife and I took the kids to the Pheasant City
Drive-In Theatre in Redfield, South Dakota. The kids had never
seen a drive-in before, and I wanted them to see one. Its about
65 miles west of us, so we won't make it for a lot of movies, but
I want to go once or twice a summer when they have movies that
the kids can see. We saw Disney's The Kid this trip. We all had a
good time. The kids were watching the movie from the top of the
van. The snack bar has hot dogs, burgers, and a popcorn popper
with a burner big enough for a water heater under it to make
popcorn fast.
I just thought I would drop you a note to let you know we had
fun, and the drive-in will never die. I've been a fan since way
back in the TMC days. Keep up the good work. And in the interests
of country hospitality, come on up if you ever want to hunt
pheasants, geese, or whitetail deer.
Sincerely,
Curt Parliament
Hazel, SD
Dear Curt,
Hunting AND drive-ins--how could I pass that up? Thanks for the
progress report from the true Middle America, bud.
Joe Bob
Hey Joe!
I want to find a shirt like one I saw you wearing on TV one time.
It was a western style with the confederate flag on it... I gotta
have one. Do you remember where you bought it? Please let me
know. I am an Arkansan living in California (Sacramento) and
would LOVE to wear a shirt like yours.
Thanks a lot!
-Todd
Dear Todd,
That Confederate flag shirt I used to wear was real popular, but
it was given to me by the manufacturer. It's designed in France,
distributed by a Jewish company in New York, and manufactured in
Morocco. Should we all sing "Dixie"?
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob,
I just got done reading "Joe Bob goes back to the
drive-in" and "Iron Joe Bob" Great books! I
remember reading something about how your were supposed to be in
Chainsaw 2, but the scene got cut. Did they at least give you a
copy of the footage? That way you can show your offspring when
you're old how you were hacked-up like a bad piece of ground
chuck on screen by the legendary leatherface. Family home movies
would be much more interesting. Anyways, heard you're going
on a one man show. Hope you can make it up to Michigan State
University. You'll have the perfect crowd...intoxicated youth:)
Hope to see you back on TV again. Your show was much better than
all the soft porn that was on at that timeslot;)
Take care,
-Steve Jencks
Lansing, MI
Dear Steve,
There is no higher praise than that of a man who passed up
premium cable soft porn to watch my show. So thank you greatly.
You can actually see my scenes in "The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre Part 2" by watching the "director's cut"
that was released on laserdisc, and I believe on DVD as well.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
The socks, 5 year Dr. visits, out of laundry soap, spending
habits, and just day to day existance......
The women of America salute you and your ability to NAIL the
summary of gender comparison!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep up the Amazing job!
Fans since the old Showtime Days,
Anne & Alan
Dear Anne and Alan,
I presume you've overcome the sexual chasm and agreed to a
detente?
Joe
Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Mucho thanx for the informative history you provided the reader
from Waco. I, too, am from Waco -- and, I'm ashamed to say,
I HATED living there. It's pretty sad to say that the place you
were raised you did not like living there. So, again, your
tale of early Waco truly "makes live worth living".
Any other tidbits about Waco history? I've lived there from 1955
to 1975 and the pictorial history books in Waco that they don't
let you check out show the fabuloso hotels they used to have in
Downtown Waco -- complete with the indoor pools and those little
hangy-down ring thingies (what did they do with those things?).
Another subject: As I'm getting to be an "old fart" I
get to reminiscing about my youth and am getting obsessed
with Camp Fire Girls (one of the few things I liked about Waco).
I know that Madonna was a Camp Fire Girl (and Ann Richards) -- do
you know of any other "glory girls" who admit to being
Camp Fire Girls. I've searched Yahoo: (1) "Celebrity Camp
Fire Girls" and (2) "Famous Camp Firl
Girls", to no avail. I know gals like "a man in
uniform", so just wondering if you know of any famous
"girls in uniform" -- Camp Fire that is. Probably they
don't want to admit it. I wonder why Madonna did?
Oh, well, I'm writing this and work -- hope I'm not busted!
Cheers, and
Regards,
Terry Harmon
Houston, TX
Dear Terry,
I think men also love a woman in uniform, especially if it's a
nurse uniform, a flight attendant uniform or a cheerleader
uniform. We know this from the great seventies classics "The
Student Nurses," "Candy Stripe Nurses,"
"Private Duty Nurses," "Fly Me,"
"Revenge of the Cheerleaders," and, of course, the
immortal "Cheerleader Camp."
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
I recall sitting in my office in 1985, or abouts. You wrote a
story about Otis the dyslexic prophet. Instead of sayin
"death by fire!" Otis refunked it as "death by
tire!". 15 years later, OTIS WAS RIGHT! (The Firestone
holocaust).Sadly, no one listened.
Any more Nostrodamic type stuff?
MARK MOTZ
Mayfield Heights, OH
Mark,
You get major Brownie points for remembering Otis the dyslexic
prophet, who you may or may not recall lived in a Goodwill box in
Hobbs, New Mexico. Otis was still there the last time I checked.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
In regards to your question on the symbolism of the baby
statuette appearing from the egg in "A Company of
Wolves," it has always been my thought that this was an
indication that the girl had finally gotten her period, so to
speak.
One point to recall, is that this is less a film about
werewolves, as one where werewolves are used symbolically to make
statements about human nature - particularly human sexuality
("the beast"). So the imagery will not all be sourced
from the various werewolf mythos.
My thinking is as follows:
We have a girl...
1. being chased by a boy
2. applying the rouge as a simulacrum of sexual arousal
3. followed by the opening of the egg (common symbol of
fertility) and the
revelation of the baby statuette
4. which she then shows to her mother - who is quite pleased.
Does it make any sense?
Just my $.02
Carlos Perez
Boston, MA
Dear
Carlos,
But why is it a statue! That's what's driving me crazy! It's a
statue of a baby!
Actually, you've made more sense than anyone else so far.
Preciate the attempt.
Joe Bob
Hey Mr. Joe bob...Sir!.
This is Hektor Thillet, 22 years old, computer animation student
from Ft Lauderdale, Florida here! I am watching your Sunday
morning presentation of "In the Company of Wovles" on
the TNT network... and I wanted to give you my interpretation of
what "The Statues hatching out of the eggs" really
mean... If you noticed the bird that flew out of the nest where
the eggs where, it was a Baby carrier Heron...I mean; you know as
depicted in the fairy tales... So this entire movie is a
Fairytale, Little Ridding Redhood to be exact right? Well there
is a lot of fairy tale dark simbolism in it... and so the Heron
Baby Carrier was trown in the mix... Why? Because, if you
remember the girl's sister had died earlier... when the girl
climbed up the tree and found the Bird's Baby carriage (still
looking at it from a fairy tale point of view), well she
interrupted the Babies gestation process and they hatched
intomeer statues... Then the girl took the statue to her Mom as
if the Heron had delivered her daughter back. The statue
cried...well in my screwd up opinion anyways... because it
probably was the death daughter's soul trapped into that statue
after she died in the forest... or something like that! Well
that's enough Pilosophying from my part! Stay neutral. Peace
Hektor Thillet
Dear Hek,
Stay neutral? I have no idea what you said, but you know what? It
almost sounded good.
Joe Bob
Hey, Joe Bob,
First of all, let me tell you how happy I am that the VCR remote
has a pause button. I often try to tape movies you show on
Monstervision, but I can't stand the (endless) commercials, so
that's all cut when I record. However, you may be pleased to know
that I do record your monologues, and enjoy you very much. As a
matter of fact, you're the only host I include in the movie
recordings. Hope you have a job for a long time, you're like my
adult version of 'creature double-feature'. And at least you're
not working for the USA network! Commercial city!
Anyway, on to the question of the ceramic babies that hatched in
tonight's 'red riding hood' movie. I honestly see no connection
to werewolf lore, but there may be a connection to Celtic
mythology. The nest and eggs appear to be that of the stork, and
you know the legend of storks delivering babies, so I wonder if
that may have been the reference. And wasn't it freaky when the
baby statue shed a tear as the girl was holding it in her hand!
Wonder what that meant. (Maybe it wasn't ready to leave the
nest?)
Well, thank you for adding a little something worthwhile to late
night TV viewing. And tell Ted to give you a raise!
TTYL
Arthur Podgorney
Dear Arthur,
Ted must have been out of earshot when you said that.
At any rate, all these theories about what myths the movie is
based on would be fine, except I don't find ANY myths that
include those damned baby statues.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Perhaps the eggs hatching represent her emergence into womanhood.
The statues inside her "fertile" eggs cry because they
will never be born. And now that she has passed into womanhood,
the wolfs are aroused by her scent?
Who knows? Face it, this movie has more loose ends than a gay
bar!
Mike McCarns
Dear Mike,
Hey, you stole my line! But thanks for making the attempt! I
still don't understand it.
Joe Bob
Dear Joebob
I have been watching your show for a long time I was I think 7 or
8 im 12 now I love it sooo much but I want to know ..... when you
get mail and read it on the show is it real or just part of the
script I really wanna know o and by the way I live in Alabama not
that far from Atlanta, GA kinda cool. Well, its late 12:40pm. my
time. Bye
your fan
Mary
Dear Mary,
All the mail I read on the show is just as real as your email,
hon, and thank you for those nice words.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
It seems that many folk have been under a rock somewhere just
finding out about your ex TNT experience. I am glad to see you
back writing and am enjoying all the articles being sent out to
us! Even if they do "pull" one every now and then! Am
thankful I have all your books, except A Guide to Western
Civilization, so I can bask in your wit and wisdom daily. Believe
me, if I had the funds, you would have your own show doing
whatever the heck you wanted to do!!!! Thanks for the great web
site. It helps to know that there are others who "semi
worship" you as much as I do!!! Sorry, but you are number
three on my list, first is the J man, then my hubby, then you!!
You have my support in whatever you endeavor to do next. By
the way, if I weren't married, you would probably be number 2!!
Good luck sir!
the gal in the south,
Jeanne Smith( better known as the "bean")
Dear Jeanne,
You gals are starting to give me a complex. I've only been off
the air TWO MONTHS, and everyone keeps hounding me to know when
I'm coming back. There's no award for being QUICK about that sort
of thing.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob--
I thoroughly enjoyed your commentary and comedic observations
during THE DEAD ZONE. I've admired Mr. Walken's work for some
time, and I'd met the man at a cast party back in 1986.(Just as
weird in person!). His Oscar-winning performance in THE
DEERHUNTER inspired me to become a professional actor in
Richmond, Virginia. Anyway, During the film, THE DEAD ZONE, I was
wondering if you caught the opening scene in his classroom. He
addresses his students just as the bell is ringing and states the
following line: "For homework, I want you to read "The
Legend of Sleepy Hollow." It's about a school teacher who
gets chased by a headless demon!" .... This film was
produced back in 1983. Who knew that Mr. Walken would go on to
play the Headless Horseman in 1999? Pretty Twilight Zoney, if you
ask me! ....Here's proof-positive that you're very entertaining--
My wife is a dead ringer for Demi Moore...and I STILL take the
time to catch your show each Saturday night! Keep up the great
work!
Sincerely,
Mr. Bill Brock
Midlothian, VA
Dear Bill,
OOOOOOOO, that IS creepy. Not the Christopher Walken
foreshadowing, but that your wife looks like Demi Moore. I hope
she hasn't tried to match her plastic surgery for plastic
surgery, because that RIB THING she did is disgusting.
Joe Bob
I live in hood river Oregon about 60 miles from Portland. In our
town we still have a drive in that is a very popular hang out for
teens to screw and get trashed. A multiplex was built downtown
and it is threatening our little drive in. We need to take
action. What is going to happen if kids don't have a place to
drink their beer and have their teen sex? I think it's not the
violence on TV that causes kids to freak out. It's the lack of
sex in back seats of cars. THIS HAS TO BE STOPPED!
Nick Pounders
Dear Nick,
You don't even have to tell me. I've noticed there's already a
decline in the birth rate as a direct result of the cinemegaplex
opening in downtown Hood River. Obviously we need a
"Rambo"-type operation.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
How come in the many years I've watched you , you never
have mentioned the greatest low budget clone of ALIEN ever ! This
movie is a debut for James Cameron and many other creative
artists . . .
Sincerely
Chad Castagana
Woodland Hills, CA
Dear Chad,
I take second place to no man in my admiration for "Galaxy
of Terror," but it's just never been possible to have it on
any of the shows I've hosted.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
You mean to tell me that, now that you're gone, TNT expects me to
tune into junk like back to back re-runs of "In the Heat of
the Night"? I tell you, I'm never going to get that
desperate for viewing (dis)pleasure and also, without you hosting
Monstervision, there's really no damn reason to tune in.
I, like many others I'm sure, were super sad to see you go. I
hope to hell you weren't fired by those morons, and that you left
on your own because it's what you wanted to do. I really can't
tell you how much I enjoyed your show--I live in New York and am
a writer who usually keeps to himself, and I don't know how many
times I took a much needed break from the keyboard to watch your
show. Then, when I would finally meet a girl and my Saturday
nights were taken, I taped you whenever possible. And now...here
I am again, girlfriendless, with nothing to do on a Saturday
night except wonder why in the hell TNT is running "Running
Mates" promos every five damn seconds, and hoping against
hope there'd be a Planet of the Apes marathon to keep me
occupied..
Anyway, just wanted to say I totally miss your show and I hope
you surface somewhere else soon; you're one funny and smart guy
Thanks.
Jeff Gomez
New York, NY
Dear Jeff,
Girlfriendless in New York? Isn't that considered impossible?
Don't you guys have, like, a 34-to-1 ratio in your favor?
Joe Bob
joe bob briggs,
i just found out the bad news that there will be no more
"summer school" and halloween marathons (i was really
looking for hallow's eve marathon). But all in all look on the
bright side you might make it back to a premium channel like
showtime or hbo. just think of the perks that once gave like no
censorship (meaning able to see full movies with nothing cut,
bleaped, blotted or otherwise taken out)
you will be missed on my saturday nights. i shall have a six pack
in your honor
----chris lumzer
Inwood, WV
Dear Chris,
Shouldn't you be SENDING ME a six-pack in my honor? Oh, what the
hell.
Joe Bob
Well John Bloom, Jo Bob which ever you prefer.
It is sad to see you go but perhaps this is God's way of telling
you that the Cable baron himself Ted "Turncoat" Turner
just didn't deserve you. I hope to one day become a filmaker and
if I do I don't care what movie it is I promise to use you, if I
can afford ya'. But I do have to thank you for the "Monstervision"
letter you once sent me maybe if I sell it I can afford to have
you in my movie, whatever it is. But I would like to know what
you will be doing now? Return to the 'Door' maybe, work on a
partisan campaign, become a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A
Millionarie?", or maybe join the World Wrestling Federation
as Stone Cold Steve Austin's manager? I think those are all very
nice job opportunities, but maybe you'll become a filmaker. Ahhh
there you are. "...A John Bloom film." How does that
sound? If you do don't forget about your loyal fan and brother in
Christ Jason Hughes. Anyway Good Luck to you Mr. Briggs, or Mr.
Bloom.
Yours in Christ,
Jason Hughes
Groton, CT
Dear Jason,
Well, all of those are excellent career suggestions (I think my
favorite might be working for the WWF), but I've got BIGGER
things in mind. Details later . . .
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
That sucks you got fired from monstervision. I was pissed off. I
don't even watch it anymore. But I am a big fan of yours so keep
me informed on what's coming up in the future with you.
later,
Chase Kennison
Gonalex, LA
Dear Chase,
If you keep a close eye on the Joe Bob website over the next
couple of months, you won't miss a thing!
Joe Bob
hello,
i wish to find out more about that wacky movie, "THE FROZEN
DEAD" what a fantastic flick, jumpin jumba heaps my friend.
please more on the
Above........
ponyvoid
Dear Ponyvoid,
"The Frozen Dead" is one of the greatest camp horror
flicks ever made in England. Dana Andrews plays a Nazi who
refuses to admit the war is over and he keeps all the Nazi
officers alive and in suspended animation. Their brains go
haywire, though, and he ends up with Nazi Zombies. He also cuts
off the head of a strangled woman but keeps it alive, and his
niece ends up communicating with the head and offering advice. A
classic from the sixties.
Joe Bob
Dear JoeBob,
what's this I hear about the making of ED GEIN : THE MOVIE with
Steve Railsback ?????? I got this piece of innuendo from my
sister's boyfriend - who worked for UNSOLVED MYSTERIES and on a
Roger Corman film .
Chad Castagana
Woodland Hills, CA
Dear Chad,
For my money, the only guy who should be considered to play Ed
Gein is the one and only Billy Bob Thornton.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
I remember watching you on The Movie Channel a few years back,
then I had to move to an area that did not offer that channel,
but eventually I found you again on TNT. And we know what
happened there. I truly miss your humor because I really think
you are very entertaining. Is there any hope in the future that
you will have another show on any network? If not could I talk
you into moving here? lol.
Sincerely
Kellie Arrowood
Marion, NC
Dear Kellie,
Yes, there's hope that I'll be on TV again, but it's more
probable that I'll be homeless. So where do I show up?
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Howdy. I'm going "on strike" w/my job for a bit, and
writing you instead! I TRIED to e-mail you yesterday thru
your website, but it's so darned hard! There are these
blanks you have to fill out, and I evidently don't give the right
info and my message never goes through. I have decided if I am to
write you I'll do it through my own e-mail.
I read your fan's letter on "Three Women" and I had to
write. I got turned onto "Three Women" when it came out
here in Houston in 1977 I believe. I agree, it's a mucho trippy
film, and is not for everyone. My "women's libber" aunt
(named Jensey) HATED it, but since she took me to my first
screening, I have seen "Three Women" at least a dozen
times, and managed to snag a copy of it at RTV Video (I know you
mention Movies Unlimited, but are you aware of RTS Video, based
in Las Vegas, for hunting obscure vids?).
I swear, every time I see "Three Women" I catch
something I've missed. This cool chick (girlfriend of
Jimmie Raycraft of The Roaring Calhouns here in Hou.) is
ALSO into early Altman and is from K.C. She says that the artwork
in the swimming pool whose "horny devils" are still in
the backyard of some lucky soul in K.C.
I have many fav parts of "Three Women": Cissy the
innocent, Cissy the sexpot, Shelley the vamp (in her own mind),
the baby delivery scene where Shelley delivers the dead baby and
slaps Cissy cause "She didn't call!", the "bedroom
scene" w/Cissy's older parents, the bar scene where Cissy
downs it all (nice burp!), I could go on and on.
Us early Altman fans are few and far between. I used to go to the
River Oaks Theatre where I saw "Three Women" so many
many times, and ended up getting turned to "Images",
"A Perfect Couple" (w/Tommie Lee Bradley, a fab Hou.
R&B singer), "A Wedding" (semi-commercial),
"Nashville" (mucho commercial), and of course Altman
protege Alan Rudolph's early flicks ("Remember My Name"
and "Welcome To LA"). Many people HATE
"Welcome To LA" but for some perverse reason I
watch it every so often and own the soundtrack. I read an article
in some music rag that one of the members of Steely Dan loved
"Welcome To LA".
Weird to have mentioned that in an interview!
Anyhoo, Altman's flicks may not be about much, but they sure are
visual.
Well, time to the the "strike" and get back to work.
Again, I tried to send this same e-mail yesterday, and got booted
out because I didn't type in what they wanted in the proper
"fields".
Thanx for letting me rant on about Altman, one of my heroes. By
the way, did you know that Altman smokes pot?
Well, later, and
Cheers,
Terry Harmon
Houston, TX
Dear Terry,
Robert Altman smokes pot! I'm appalled! I'm shocked!
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
First off, I am sorry as hell to have lost you off of television
for the moment, but from reading some of your responses in your
'letters' section, perhaps it was good for you. In any case, I
really liked your show and especially your role in it.
Loved those body counts and the occasional flamethrower-fu joke.
Miss you, pal. What is your opinion of these new pseudo-horror
movies? Despite the fact that I think they are unoriginal and
about nothing but cash, I wonder if they might be reviving an
interest in the horror genre? Do you see them realistically
opening the door for more revivals or new venues (such as the
current re-release of The Exorcist)? I live in Southern
California where every theater is playing the same thing on 20
screens and it's terrible. I might be willing to sit through a
Scream 4 if it meant theater owners realized that horror films
could draw a crowd.
On
that note, do you happen to know how to get any information on
any horror revivals in Southern California for Halloween?
Also,
since you seem to have your finger on the pulse of B-movies, do
you have any idea if we might see a DVD release or at least a
legit release of the original film of Dellamorte Dellamore aka
Cemetery Man. I still think that is one of the best damned movies
to come out in the last 10 years, but I did not see it listed in
your guide to B-movies. Any interesting information on that one?
And yes, I am already aware that Anna Falchi is knock-out.
I
must admit, though I am intersted in your opinion on what I
asked, I was just looking for an excuse to say that you seem like
a good guy and I miss your show. You're the best Joe Bob, take
care,
Andrew Kachaturian
Santa Ana, CA
Dear Andrew,
My guide to B movies is something I have to update whenever I
have the time, which is why there are alarming gaps in it. As to
whether you could put out "Cemetery Man" on DVD, I
don't know. I think there's only a brief window of time when
re-releases are "cool," no matter how much additional
commentary you ladle on, but it's interesting to me that people
seem to be so insatiable for behind-the-scenes stuff.
Anyway, yes, I think the "Scream" movies are good for
horror in general, although they're not really horror movies.
They're whodunits. Whodunits were all but dead, so Wes
Craven should really be taking credit for bringing back the
whodunit detective story.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
You were the first to e-mail me and I adore you for it! (You
answered my e-mail about you helping to make my boyfriends
jealous...?) Anyway, I really miss seeing you on T-V. Not only
did they take you off of TNT but in Corbin, Ky, there's no comedy
network so, no "daily show". How can I possibly
fullfill my need to hear you and giggle at your "wit"?
I tried to log on the galaxynet as radgirlio (I'm a radio news
announcer) but they never let me talk and you apparently didn't
see my questions?! Anyway, I'm still a fan. I would love to hear
your comments on Robert Deniro..next to Ian McKellan, my favorite
actor! (not counting you, of course!!!) Hang in there...I'll be
watching and listening to see if there's some way I can support
your return to TV land.
with adoration,
Shirley Williams
Corbin, KY
Dear Shirley,
Well of course there's a way. Talk about me on the NEWS every
day.
On second thought, maybe that's not a good idea.
"Day 41: Joe Bob still unemployed. In more upbeat news . .
."
How many boyfriends do you HAVE anyway? You Kentucky girls, I
know ALL about you.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Hi! I'm a 19 year old fan from Tampa, FL and I've always enjoyed
your acting skills. So what happened to MonsterVision? I
always enjoyed watching you every Saturday night and now I'm
robbed of it :( What have you been doing lately? Any new
projects?
Cherie Lynn Dysard
Tampa, FL
Dear Cherie,
Oh no, darlin, you're WAY BEHIND on the news. You need to go to
my website and read the "Advice to the Hopeless"
section and you'll get the whole sad story of what happened to
"MonsterVision." In a nutshell, they
fired me!
And yes, I have a bunch of new projects, some of which I'll be
announcing shortly.
Joe Bob
hello joe bob,
I cant believe monster vision is over, this is a tragedy to all
of television entertainment. what the hell am i going to do
now after drinking a 12 pack and caught surfing through the
channels on saturday night? anyway, i want to thank you for some
great times and big freakin laughs.
dallas campbell
cameron, WV
Dear Dallas,
After a 12-pack, you need what EVERY single guy needs on the
weekend. The Showtime late-night soft-core SEX FLICK!
I'm surprised I have to explain these things.
Joe Bob
Subject:
I wanna tell you why SUVs bug you I finally figured it out. It's
because SUVs are, as they're used, non-functional.
Okay, they are supposed to be all-terrain, 4 wheel drive
vehicles. But they are used by yuppies to drive to the friggn
mall. They are never dirty; they never go cross country. They
ought to have mud on 'em and something strapped on top. Now, a
great big Buick (2 lanes wide, holes in the side - R.E. Keen)
with 300hp, will give you a nice ride and freeze your butt
off if you want. That is FUNCTIONAL.
A van with a name on the side (Reality Church, Ajax Plumbing) is
functional. A van with mom and dad and four kids is not; they
ought to be in a station wagon. A van with a bunch of crap in the
back is functional. A 20 year old van with a family living
in it may be functional, but I still don't approve. Maybe it's
miss-functional; they ought to be in a tent. Or maybe it's just
plain ugly.
A pickup truck, with an empty bed, and all shinny, is not
functional. A pickup with a bale of hay and a saddle in the bed
is functional. I don't have a saddle but I bought a bale of hay
for $4.00 for mine.
I hope you appreciate this psycho-analysis. As for the rest of
your neuroses, I'll have to ponder that for a while. May need
help from Dr. Laura.
Regards,
Michael Cremin
World Observer and Pundit
Dear Michael,
What happened to that car that looked like a truck? Wouldn't that
be an excellent solution? What was it? An El Camino?
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
About the '71 HEMI CUDA and "ONLY 2 EVER MADE". They're
referring to CONVERTIBLES. I was fortunate enough to own the last
production Hemi Cuda ever made, a hardtop. I ordered it in May of
71. It was delivered with a few 72 parts installed. THE 426 CUBIC
INCH HEMI ENGINE WAS NOT OFFERED AFTER THE 1971 MODEL YEAR.
That's why the 71 HEMI CUDA is so valuable. Keep up the great
show. You help ease the sorrow of losing the great Cleveland
monster show host, GOULARDI.
Regards,
Doug Palinkas
Mentor, OH
Dear Doug,
So it was YOUR car that drove up all the insurance rates and
caused Plymouth to stop making the super-hoss Hemi Cudas forever.
It's all YOUR fault.
Joe Bob
Dear
Joe Bob,
Give
us a caption contest! We truly miss the biting wit that comes
with such fun! You don't even have to give prizes! We just want
to try to be funny!
Pretty good deal. You give us a contest. We ask for no prizes.
Everybody wins!
Pat
McCauley
Dear Pat,
But if I didn't give prizes, whatever would I do with all the
junk I have in my closet?
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
LOVE your show, but would like to see a movie I saw when I was a
kid. It was called 'Humanoids From the Deep', and it's about a
sea monster who came ashore and got women pregnant with baby
monsters. I'd love if you could find it for me...I've yet to see
it in any video store. Thanks a million....
Lori Moore
Aliquippa, PA
Dear Lori,
You're one of the few remaining fans of "Humanoids from the
Deep," which I haven't seen in YEARS. Thanks for reminding
me of it, and thanks for the nice words, hon.
All my best,
Joe Bob
Hey! Joe Bob,
My freinds and i were partying last weekend and we saw that
freaky movie what was it.... The Dead Zone? Yeah, well that movie
was cool, but Christopher Walken is freaky. Have you seen Sleepy
Hallow? He is even freakier in that. Well, anyway we were talking
about you the other night, and I was talking about how you were a
doctor or something in a movie. Didn't you play a doctor in a
movie? Tell me you did, because my friends think i'm crazy. How
many movies have you been in? I have a question, do you pick out
the movies that are shown or does some programming weirdos do
that? I can say that because my brother is a programming weirdo
at a local station. I have one request. Can you show a Scott
Cohen movie? The movie Ripper is suppose to be really good, i
don't know if it is scary but Scott Cohen is really cute. Oh,
yeah, my friends and i think your kinda cute yourself. Oh, yeah
can you send me an autograph? My friends didn't think i would
email you. Thanks.
-Tara Shipp
Salisbury, MO
P.S. Do you know a good place to got for Spring Break?
Dear Tara,
Yeah, my apartment!
Only kidding.
You're thinking of "Face/Off," in which I play the evil
torturing doctor in the prison.
All my best,
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
You looked wonderful as you discussed BTVL (remember, she got it
from Angel on the TV series, Bib Guy:-) We want your drive-in
totals for 'Modern Vampires' with Natasha Gregson Wagner and
Casper Van Dien. Take care, Handsome. Fangs for the vampire
movies.
Love,
Dr. Monica Schwab and Hillary Miller B.I.S.
Mesa, AZ
Dear Hillary and Monica,
Okay, that was a weird letter. Are you both vampires? Does B.I.S.
stand for Bachelor of Incisor Studies? I thought so!
Preciate the support, girls.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Since your from Texas, I thought you might like this joke: What
is Governor Bush's favorite Texas city? Kilgore. Okay, its kinda
stupid. Anyhoo, I was wondering what the chances are of ever
seeing the BasketCase movies on Monstervision? Love your show!
Melissa Hohle
Houston, TX
Dear Melissa,
Well *I* laughed.
And the answer to your question is that a) the "Basket
Case" movies have already been on "Monster
Vision," and b) there's no way in hell TNT would ever show
em again.
Joe Bob
Joe
Bob,
I'm not writing to offer you my condolences on being canned from
TNT. No, you're better off without them. Ted (and I don't mean
Raimi) is an incompetent megalomaniac who you are better off not
being associated with. And they never understood you, either... I
think it's pretty obvious. For example, towards the end of your
time on TNT, there was an evening where they showed Christine
early on, and then you came on and were being forced to host
Beaches. (Um, maybe it wasn't Beaches... but you get the point.)
I sincerely hope you soon find your niche on a broadcasting
station that understands you.
Anyway, the reason I write is to try to find a transcript of
yours which I'm pretty sure exists. I remember once about a year
ago, you read a letter on the air from a prison inmate who was in
awe of the comparison you made between zombie-films and the
existentialist philosophy. As a HUGE fan of all things
zombirific, I would love to either hear more about this theory or
be directed to a transcript where you first made this
observation.
Thanks, and I have faith that we'll all be seeing you on the air
again soon!
Joel Levin
New York City, NY
Dear Joel,
Wow! You've stumped me about something that I myself said. I'm
gonna have to send somebody into the archives to find that
Joe Bob
Joe Bob-
What the hell was going on there? All I could make out was a
stupid little girl being chased around by a bunch of wolves and a
freaky looking anorexic guy who shot dogs out of his mouth. hen
she turns into a wolf, and then she isn't a wolf, but then she's
back in modern times, but the wolves are still here, and they
come crashing through the window, and she's all scared, and I'm
banging my head on the table cause it don't make no sense.
If I wanted to see a movie I didn't understand I'd go watch Hugh
Grant. I expect to be able to walk in in the middle of a movie
and pick it up. If I see Stallone killing Comy pinko swine, I
know what's going on. If I see some amazing collosal man guy
running around, I've got a pretty dern good idea of what he's
doing. But this movie-hell, it didn't even have a single giant
man, or zombie, or even a gun to blow these shmucks away with.
I'll tell you what they need to do-they need to replace the girl
with Frank Stallone, automatically making it into a comedy. Or
get Sly in there to, and have him kill Frank. That way it's
still confusing, but at least there're explosions and guns, which
overrides the confusing part. I'm off. Think I'll go see if I can
find a python in the snow filled woods.
Anthony Fransella
Winter Park, FL
Dear Anthony,
Do you think there's something wrong with me? I identified with
the wolf.
Joe Bob
Joe bob,
Congratulations on another great show! First "Skeeter was
one of the worst horror movies ever made but it did make both I
and my brother howl with laughter. Also, your comments were
honestly my excuse for sitting through the entire film. Oh, and I
agree with you, absolutely too much plot and not enough
face-eating mosquito shots! Thanks for another memorable Saturday
night!
Dana Estes
Lewisport, KY
Dear Dana,
Do you realize you may be the only person in the universe
(besides me, of course) to appreciate the genius of
"Skeeter"?
Joe Bob
Hey, Joe Bob.
Got to thinking about the crazy symbolism in that movie Company
of Wolves. You were talking about those crying baby statues that
hatched from the blue eggs. I'm kinda steeped on werewolf lore
myself, and I've never heard of anything even closely resembling
the psychosis I watched last night. Anyway, the only thing I
could figure out with those crying baby statue things was that it
was all about repressed sexual desire. Rosalie (who I can't
believe was only 13. Still in denial.) went out for a walk with
the kid with the weird nose. He kissed her, tried to impose his
will upon her, and she ran away. She stood at the tree and
thought about it for a while. So, she made a choice. She climbs
the tree to get away from danger. She gets up in the tree and
finds the eggs, which hatch and inside are baby statues. She digs
these things and takes one home. She shows it to her mother and
it begins to cry. The only thing I get out of that is the eggs
represent her naive self, and the eggs hatching represent her
being made aware of sex and all, like coming out of your shell.
The babies inside were her innocence, virginity, whatever. So,
she shows her mother that she's still innocent. Her mother is
very pleased, but her inner child (kid in the egg) is weeping
with regret. Just like to say for the record that the guy who
came up with this stuff is a certifiable psycho. Or maybe it's
just because it's a British film. I don't know, but this was
without a doubt one of the weirdest films I've ever stayed up
late to watch.
Chris Akers
Quincy, IL
Dear Chris,
Well, I guess I know what you mean, but usually sex and innocence
don't go together. So if she's innocent, she ain't gonna be
birthin no babies.
Joe Bob
hi,
i just watched the minion on usa network. i think you're show
could do i justice. there's a huge body count, lots of fight
scenes with swords and guns, a priest and a beautiful girl, a
nuclear power plant, people possessed by the devil and lots of
other fun stuff. the cast includes dolph lundgren, francoise
robertson, and roc lafortune it's kinda cheesy in a fun kind of
way. i think you'd enjoy it.
Bonnie Harlow
Portland, ME
Dear Bonnie,
Any movie starring Dolph sounds great to me. I'll check it out.
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob,
I am
a senior in high school and am about to go to college in the
fall. I noticed about two or three weeks ago that you said you
had played tenor sax at a Little Rock high school and that it was
the monster of the band (let alone saxaphones). While all of this
is 90% true, I play the baritone sax, a 40 pound piece of brass!
It is a huge menacing thing feared by all who sit around me.
Anyway, I am looking to buy a tenor for If it is at all possible,
I was wondering if you would sell your tenor you had on the show)
that is if it was yours). Love the show.
Thanx,
Nick G
Hot Springs Village, AR
Dear Nick,
Well, I'd be happy to sell you my tenor, but I already sold it
years ago and you probably wouldn't have wanted it. It was the
ugliest damn thing ever put out by a music factory. We didn't
have a big enough band to have a full-time baritone sax player,
so one of the tenors would double on baritone.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Joe
Bob,
What are my chances of getting a copy of Ernie
"Ghoulardi" Anderson's appearance on Joe Bob's Drive-In
Theater Oct.12, 1991. He was the coolest guy on the face of the
earth. I need this to help me with my Ghoulardi book. Yes,
another Ghoulardi book. This one is going to be more of a
scrapbook loaded with never before seen graphics from my 37 year
collection of Ghoulardi memorabillia. It will also include my
complete interview with Ernie conducted in March of "94.
Hope you can help me. Thanks.
Mark D. Neel
{Uncle Mark}
Dear Uncle Mark,
I have to go into my storage closet later this year and I'll try
to roust up a copy of what turned out to be Ghoulardi's last
television appearance, on my show. Good luck with the book. I get
the impression that Ernie Anderson was kind of a tortured soul,
but all the best ones are.
Joe Bob
hey joe bob,
i am
just writing to say that i think that tnt made a mistake by
getting rid of you. i enjoyed watching monstervision when i had
the chance. i liked it when you told facts about the movie and
the people that played in it. i would sit and watch movies that i
already saw, just to see what info you would throw out. i saw one
week a few years back when the warriors were on. the facts that
you threw out were very interesting, i thought it was cool how
you used the map to track their travels. i would also sit and
watch a few movies that weren't of that much interest to me to
see your facts about the movie. megaforce is about the only one i
couldn't sit for, i had to turn the channel on that one sorry
about that. i haven't seen you too much the last two years or so
about once a month or so. i did notice that the movies did start
to stray away from the horror field. i would look to see
what you had on and it would be one of those look who is talking
movies, or back to the future. i liked back to the future but not
on monstervision. it doesn't belong there. i know you basically
have to play what they tell you, but you had to of been a little
upset when they told you some of the movies that you were going
to be hosting. i was just wondering if you were going to do
another show. i think like the sci fi channel would be a good
channel for a show like yours. something like showtime would be
even better that way you could show the movie in its entireity. i
would appreciate it if you could answer that question for me, and
get back on the air soon.
bill
Bill,
I'll be trying to get back on the air just as soon as possible,
bud, and thanks for those suggestions.
Joe Bob
JoeBob,
This may be asking you too much. My wife and I have been looking
for Professor Irwin Corey videos. I have come to the conclusion
that they are like hens teeth. Would you be so kind and help us
find his videos and where we may obtain them. Thanks
John R. Stasny Sr.
Dear John,
Wow! That's the first time I've ever been asked THAT question, in
spite of my lifelong effort to get someone to make the Ultimate
Corey Flick--Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, and Professor Irwin
Corey, together at last. Professor Irwin Corey has been
semi-retired in his Greenwich Village bungalow for many years
now, but I think he occasionally does emerge on request. He never
really had a movie of his own, per se, although he did cameos in
quite a few of them. His best standup work was done at Playboy
Clubs in the sixties, and at that time they had a no-film policy.
The same was true of Vegas. If you're looking for a "Best of
. . ." tape, it probably has yet to be compiled.
Joe Bob
Hi! Missed you...
I have been watching "Buffy" and admittedly enjoy the
breaks when I can hear your comentary much more than the movie.
But what's new?
I have a trivia question, and that's what you do best!
I was watching "George of the jungle" and noticed that
when George was doing the rescue scene on the Golden Gate Bridge
I thought for sure the background music was the same as in
"Greystoke:Legend of Tarzan" You know, when Captain
Darnot played by Ian Holm sang that song that greystoke imitated?
Anyway, was this to see if we are paying attention or what? I
love these subtelties. Could you confirm? Also, what is the
name of that orchestral piece?
Thank you for giving us a reason to watch TV on Saturday nite!
Teresa Kilander
Dear Teresa,
Well, it would be theoretically possible to hear pieces of music
from "Greystoke" in almost any other movie, because
portions of "Greystoke" were taken from the general
symphonic literature. A score was composed for the movie, but it
was supplemented with old classical music.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Okay, I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie last night,
and I swear that I saw another celebrity in it. You know during
the basketball game where one of the players is a vampire? During
that scene, I swear that Ben Afflect is one of the basketball
players in red and he hands the ball over to the vampire. Is that
just me? Maybe he just looks like Ben Affleck, but I don't know.
If you can find out, let me know! Thanks!
From
Erin Glasnovich
Dear Erin,
Yes indeedy, Ben Affleck pulled on his shorts one leg at a time
as a bit supporting player in the original "Buffy."
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
On your Monster Vision show that aired 3/11/00 (Buffy the Vampire
Slayer) we were so disappointed you neglected to point out one of
our favorite actors in an early appearance (that I'm sure he
would love to forget). Although he got no screen credit, Ben
Affleck appears as one of the opposing basketball team members
(red team #10), and he even has a line (something like "here
man, you can have it!"). You missed an opportunity to point
out some trivia and make fun of one of the new "big men on
campus".
Signed,
Jamie
Bedford, Texas
Dear Jamie,
I'm sure I caused terrible damage to Ben Affleck's career by
failing to mention him.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
I'm a 16 year old fan of your's, Rusty's, and Monster Vision from
West Virginia. It's coming up on a year that I first became a
Monster Vision fan. I remember catrching the show before that,
when "Wes Craven's New Nightmare" was on, then all of a
sudden you came on talking aobut it. My first thought was
"who in the hell is this?" but once I heard the
Drive-In Totals, I cracked up (I remember "White Goo
Spitting" killed me). I still didn't know about the show,
and it took me months later while being stuck watching
"Point of No Return" with my sister that you came on,
being pretty cruel to the movie, that I realized how funny the
show and you are (and how hot Rusty is), and have been a weekly
viewer since (I even stuck through Summer School and Hollywood
Saturday Night -- both of which I didn't think had athe right
feel and atmosphere as the good old Monster Vision did, but still
was funny). I'm so hooked on the show and certain phrases of
your's that I always say some while watching movies. I have my
friends and family watching the show, and we all like to come up
with our own Drive-In Totals, which don't have the same comedic
brilliance of your's. A favorite thing of mine is to add
"Fu" to a lot of stuff (another is pointing out who and
what's gratuitous - and a lot of movies anymore have plenty of
gratuitous stuff).
Anyway,
I just wanted to e-mail you telling you what a fan I am. I also
had a few questions: Have you ever tried to get the movie
"Fright Night"? I've always thought that movie belongs
on Monster Vision. What do you think of that movie? One thing I
find funny is how Roddy McDowall's character hosts a show very
much like Monster Vision, and when all else fails William
Ragsdale's character turns to him for help to fight the vampires.
I find it funny because it would be like going to you for help to
fight against next door neighbor vampires. Why has TNT been
a bunch of a-holes with the show? I miss the two movie a night
airings, now they have one movie a night and your parts seemed
chopped downed. And finally, where can I get one of those
cool TNT beer can holders?
Thank
you for your time,
Dakota Kemp
P.S. I also wanted to ask if you've ever seen the ultra-B horror
flick, "Chillers," filmed right here in West Virginia.
Dakota Kemp
Dear Dakota,
Yes, I have seen "Chillers" and I wish they'd finished
it! And yes, we did show "Fright Night" at one point.
There was not really anything new in it, but I think it's well
done.
Preciate all the nice words. As you've finally noticed, they
finally put the show out of its misery. We call it Turner Fu.
Joe Bob
HEY JOE BOB
I'M A TRUCKER,I WATCH U ON PARK AND VIEW THAT IS PROVIDED BY THE
TRUCK STOPS IN THE COMFORT OF MY TRUCK I'M N DES MOINES IOWA
RIGHT NOW AND AM ENJOYING THE DEAD ZONE I'M A BIG FAN OF MONSTER
VISION AND TRY 2 CATCH IT WHEN I CAN KEEP UP THE GREAT SHOW AND
ENJOY THE REST OF THE WEEK END THANK U AND TAKE CARE
"THE
SANDMAN"
Dear Sandman,
You missed that delivery in Akron, didn't you?, because you were
wasting good sleep time with "Monster Vision"!
Joe Bob
dear "hunk" joebob:
i can't understand why everyone picks on you sooooo much!! i
think you are very handsome for a hick!!! lol and if i were that
mail lady sitting there with you, well i wouldn't be getting up
and walkin away! that just makes me maudlin!! you know!! looking
forward to more of your commentary on your shows!! love to hear
from you, send mea e-mail!!
from down here on the central coast!!
bye
patricia palacios
Dear Patricia,
Very handsome "for a hick"? I think I could cut quite a
SWATHE through hickdom. You should see the mail I get from
Eastern Kentucky alone.
Joe Bob
Hey there Joebob
I was watching Buffy on Sat. 3/11/00 and you showed a book with
all the actors and their biographies. How can I get a copy of
that? It is on the net? Let me Know.....Karen
P.S.......Love
your show
Karen
Dear Karen,
That "yearbook" I was using had been included in the
official press kit for the movie, so that's the only copy Ihave.
The only place you could get press kits would be some place like
Hollywood Book & Poster, but the original ones were not sold,
they were just sent to the media.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
I'm thinking the dweebs at TNT have done us all a favor by
bootin' you off their wild west wonder-suck of a channel. Before
you hit the delete key, let me explain. First, they could never
fully realize the essence, the zen, if you will, of all that is
the Joe Bob Drive-In experience. How can you enjoy a horror flick
without gratuitous sex and violence? It's like traveling to
Mexico without getting a case of Montezuma's revenge. Yes, the
experience is unpleasant and you think you could have done
without it, but those bleak hours of painful evacuation transform
you in the end. You become tougher because you've lived through
something hideous. There is a daring in you not there before that
gives you the cajones to belly up to that bar again and order a
margarita on the rocks with extra ice by God! So you
see, TNT never has worked for you because you've always been
tequila straight-up. You may be enjoyable on your own but it's
the rattle of the rocks that makes you hum. Here's hoping some
premium channel sees this as a golden opportunity to maintain
your legend.
Andi Adams
White Hall, AR
Dear Andi,
Of course you're right. I AM the worm!
Joe Bob
Dear JoeBob,
I'm not sure if you remember me or not. I was just wondering if
you have given up television for good or if there is another
project you are going to be working on? MonsterVision was the
highlight of my week as I am a big fan of horror movies and of
you as well. If you are gone for good I will miss you.
One
of your hugest fans,
Cindy
P.S. Thanks for the autographed photo you sent me. It was nice of
you to respond so kindly.
Dear Cindy,
Of course I remember you! As to whether I've left TV for
good--probably not, but I won't come back just to have a job. It
will have to be a show I'm really excited about.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Well, it didn't take TNT long to pull the plug entirely on
Monstervision. If you listen closely, you can hear Taps
playing softly on horror message boards everywhere.
I just read through your letters archive, and while I share the
sentiments of the genuinely concerned, I couldn't help but notice
an abundance of "Now that you're gone, what will we
do?" selfishness. So I offer this up to you. May you
find something that challenges and satisfies YOU.
One final note. I see great potential (not that it isn't great
now) in your website. Looking forward to seeing how it blossoms.
You're already missed,
Aaron Chenoweth aka Bill Castle, Jr.
Oklahoma City, OK
Dear Bill,
Thanks for the encouragement, bud. I've decided to take a little
time to stomp on the roses and pour the coffee on people who work
at Starbucks.
Joe Bob
Joe
Bob,
Why'd
you pack up your porch and haul the trailer away from the TNT
Monstervision camp grounds?
The show will be doomed without you, and the next person to set
up shop (or mobile home) will probably be blown about by a
tornado.
So, why the move? You have something else in the works!?!
My video copy of "Night of the Bloodbeast" is wearing a
black band around its cover.
David Roberts
Dear David,
I wouldn't be surprised if the whole "MonsterVision"
franchise at TNT bites the dust after a while. They've been
pretty uninterested in that genre for a while now.
As for my own plans, if I told you I'd have to kill you.
Joe Bob
Hey, Joe Bob ......
I am soooo sorry that they fired you. The creeps. Just be assured
that it must be because you were popular and good at what you do.
A great many people have noticed that in the past several years,
all the networks/cable stations are increasingly getting rid of
the really good shows and keeping the crap. I sit here many
nights flipping through 65 channels and not finding anything
worth watching. I've actually gone back to reading. *grinnin'* I
even know quite a few people who don't even turn on the tv
anymore. I'm sure that's why all those execs keep wondering why
viewership is down.
I just can't understand how they can drive an industry that's
supposed to be entertainment when they cast out and discourage
anything that's creative or imaginative. I've seen some of the
best shows on tv cancelled before having any kind of a chance in
the past couple of years and replace them with the most idiotic
and horrible shows I've ever had the displeasure to witness.
Sigh. Even the letter writing and ad campaigns I've been a part
of don't do anything anymore. The bottom line is the almighty
dollar bill (to hell with whether a program is good, bad or
indifferent) but I still can't figure out how these networks are
staying afloat. It confuses me.
Anyway, before I get on my soapbox and start ranting and raving,
I just want you to know that this fan will miss you. I do hope
you get another gig doing something much like Monstervision. I
had always looked forward to Saturday nights to laugh with you
and snort and chuckle over the movie being aired.
Good luck to you, Sweetie, and I hope to be seeing you again
soon.
Christy
Dear Christy,
I'm sure that the stock price of Time-Warner is plummeting even
as we speak.
Thanks so much for the nice words, hon. As soon as I get a new
gig, I'll let you know on the website.
All my best,
Joe Bob
Mr. Bob-briggs
Have you ever thought of doing Godzilla movies?
thanks,
Phil
Dear Phil,
I've done Godzilla movies many times. I think I've done at least
12 of the Godzilla movies. But I no longer control the lineup at
TNT.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
I'm back with more comments, observations and complaints. First
of all, you're seriously impairing my business endeavors. I'm
spending WAY too much time at the Monster Vision site and not
nearly enough learning how to create spreadsheets. Also, the
other day I nearly hurt myself while reading your thoughts on
Riverdance.
At first, I was reading these transcripts because they were
entertaining, but you sneak other tidbits in and the more I read
the more intrigued I become. My God, a grown man who actually
admits to having read The Tin Woodman of Oz! And you've read The
Te of Piglet (one of my personal favorites). Then you mentioned
playing Bach and Moussorgsky in band. Bach's pretty munane, but I
admire your conductor for attempting Moussorgsky. I'm glad I
wasn't around to hear the result. All in all, quite the eclectic
background!
You mentioned six degrees of Kevin Bacon on one of your shows and
it occurred to me that I am probably now qualified to play. Maybe
you can help me with this one. I briefly had a roommate who was
friends with Keanu Reeves. He had his phone number on speed dial
and demonstrated this so I could actually HEAR his voice once. I
was seriously under-impressed. Then I asked if Keanu had started
taking action lesson yet. (We weren't roommates for long.)
Anyway, is there an actress connection between Reeves and Bacon?
If there is, I win in only 5 degrees. Wouldn't that just be
exciting!
There is a movie that I have yet to see on your list - "the
Eliminators" (which sounds like some patients I have had in
the hospital). You should definitely show this on Monster Vision,
even though I won't get to see it. If memory serves, the movie
reeked, with the exception of Andrew Prine, who was terrific.
Everyone else wasdeadly serious, but he was having a good time. I
have fond memories of this movie because it was the second
feature at the only drive-in I've ever been to. A sad commentary
on my life, I know.
My greatest worry at the moment is what to do when I run out of
Monster Vision transcripts to read. My life will be bleak and
bereft! Hopefully, my new business will take off so quickly that
it will fill the gap - and I won't have time to screw around on
the net anymore. Somehow, I doubt this though. I just went
through med school reading 2 to 3 novels a week instead of
studying. The concept was basically - do anything to avoid real
life. I don't think the trend is likely to change any time soon.
Of course this will now involve more hiking as I now only live 16
miles from Glacier National Park. (I only mention this to make
you jealous. It's worked on everyone else. All my friends are
green with envy and threatening to visit me frequently.)
I do promise to go to the local drive in whenever possible - as
soon as I meet people who actually appreciate things like bad
movie marathons.
Cara
P.S. Take heart, there is at least one woman in the country who
thinks Somewhere in Time was a pretty sappy movie. I really feel
for Christopher Reeves after that horrible accident, but it
doesn't change the fact that he is one of the great wooden actors
of our time - right up there with.......hmmmm. Is there a Reeves
School of Acting somewhere?
Dear Cara,
I forgot the question.
Are you a doctor yet? If so, I feel better.
Joe Bob
Where is Joe Bob? He's been MIA for two week.
Steve
Dear Steve,
I'm afraid it's more than MIA. It's either AWOL or DOA, depending
on how you look at it. Go to the website and READ THOSE LETTERS,
bud.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Howdy
from VandyLand! We just wanted to say thanks for keeping us
laughing on Sat. nights- We are fairly regular viewers and
find your show very entertaing. We have heard that you were
also a Vanderbilt student. We also heard that you were a
member of one of the fraternity houses and have been trying to
guess which one you were in. Please ease our curiosity as
to which house you were in (or if you weren't), and by the way,
what did you think of Vanderbilt? And what did you major
in? Thanks so much for fulfilling our odd request and don't worry
we'll stayed tuned to your show- Beetlejuice is a great one!
Thanks again for the entertainment.
Your biggest fans at the school that loves to yell "OH HELL
YAH!"-
erin and lauren
Oklahoma City, OK
Dear Erin and Lauren,
I was a Sigma Nu for exactly three weeks. I told em I wanted to
de-pledge and they sent all these heavy hitters to my dorm room
to talk me out of it. When I refused to budge, all 180 of em took
some kind of solemn vow to never speak to me again. So for the
rest of my four years at Vanderbilt, all Sigma Nus would cross
the street if they saw me coming and turn their backs if I said
anything to em, which of course, I did.
Constantly.
English major. Classic Studies minor. Boring, right?
All my best,
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob(aka Matchmaker),
I just wanted to say thank you. I'm getting married in 2 weeks to
a wonderful man that I met almost 2 years ago in the original
eShare chatroom at TNT. After seeing you advertise it several
times,we both started going there. Good thing, since at the time
I was living in Texas and he in New York and we'd never have met
otherwise. We also made many good friends there from all over the
world that have become family and quite a few of them are coming
here to NY for the wedding.
Anyway...I just wanted to say thanks for keeping us interested
enough in the show to decide to check out the chatroom. Without
you, we would have missed a lifetime of happiness.
Eternally Grateful,
Jen Edwards
Albany, NY
Dear Jen,
Sometimes the best marriages are created by mutually annoying
habits.
Congratulations, guys!
All my best,
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Darlin, I hate to keep pointing out your (very few) mistakes (the
last time it was regarding Shakespeare) but it wasn't Robert
Goulet who sang "The Impossible Dream" but the late,
great Richard Kiley in "Man of La Mancha." Goulet was
Lancelot in "Camelot"; his signature song is "If
Ever I Would Leave You."
Of course, I'm kinda glad that you're not the type of man who
KNOWS Broadway musicals. (Although I do wonder about your friend,
John Bloom). Those guys are not the ones I have salacious dreams
bout.
Still loving you and Monstervision (although I'm disappointed
that youa re only doing one movie a week),
Linda Ginsburg
Huntingdon Valley PA
Dear Linda,
Richard Kiley sang it on Broadway, but alas, Robert Goulet sang
it and--oh, the horror!--still sings it in Atlantic City
showrooms. Fortunately, Jim Nabors had retired to Maui and
has no further opportunities to climb every mountain.
Don't forget--only four more weeks to see "Cats" before
it leaves Broadway forever!
All my best,
Joe Bob
Hey Man,
Love yer site, good to see you "still around" even on
the web. Saturday nite on TNT won't be the same anymore. Well,
since Time Warner took over and turned TNT into Wannabe HBO
things ain't been the same. I still have some tapes that feature
you and some even older MONSTERVISION tapes, Pre-Joe Bob(gad),
and, well, dammit, TNT was just a MORE FUN STATION TO WATCH. They
had whole DAYS of Godzilla-thons, in fact, I have one from
a New Year's Eve Day l994(I think) that had that kooky TNT
announcer spouting the" Fun Monstervision line up we have
for you!", with that Retro stock music they'd play over it.
It was everything from THE GREEN SLIME to WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS
to MONSTER ZERO, complete with freaky promos and intros and
stuff, and commercials for recording artists you've never heard
of. All gone, Now we have a slick station that can't decide
whether it's ESPN or HBO, has no personality, and dull repetitive
programs. How many "encore presentations" of their own
films or, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION can they show each month? I
got the impression TNT didn't know what to do with you, and,
after a lot of format playing, they shuffled you into the wee
hours and gave you any made-for-cable
-we've-seen-it-a-hundred-times-starring-nobody flick they could
dust off ,just to finish out your stay.
Seems the action of old films is roaring over at AMC. It'd be
great if they picked you up, and you could do intros to some
Drive In flicks and THEY'D SHOW THE REAL STUFF. They've
shown all the Godzilla films and most Big Bug films of the 50's
not to mention the great Hammer stuff. They had a Monsterfest on
Halloween that was a Godzilla fan's wet dream. AMC is one of my
favorite stations I just hope no one screws that up.
We thought of you today, I passed three Drive In's. Two were
fields of tall weeds, long gone and one is still operating-The
Rustic, in Cumberland RI-and I can tell you it's PACKING IN THE
CROWDS. Reports have it that they have to be TURNED AWAY on
weekends.
All the best, I'll keep checking in on your site, hope we'll meet
up one day-
Bob Eggleton
Dear Bob,
What a great name for a drive-in. The Rustic! I love that!
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
The "00" thing is still hard for me to accept as well.
I actually use "2k" on my checks and everything that
has to have a two digit year. That's all we ever heard about
before the year came.. y2k this and y2k that.. sooooo I
use 2k. Next year will probably be "2k1".
Hope this helps!! I watch your show all the time. Have watched
you for years!!!
A friend,
Diane
Green Valley, IL
Dear Diane,
So you're saying we should call this decade "The K's"?
Or the "Two Kays"? Or maybe "The Bar Kays"?
We could actually shorten "Two Kays" to "The
Tookies," right?
It's all making my head hurt.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
You were wanting to know what to call the decade of the
"0's". This decade will be referred to as "The
Turn of the Century". The turn of the century is not just a
mere New Year Eve event. On the contrary, it refers to the entire
decade. We now refer to the decade of 1900-1910 as the 1900's.
Don't you think it sounds better if in the future looking
back, this decade is referred to as "The Turn of the
Century" rather than the 2000's?
Loretta
Friendswood, TX
Dear Loretta,
Well, I guess so, but why wouldn't we call it "the turn of
the millennium"? And how would we know which century we were
talking about? And we do we never have this problem when we're
talking about the decade thatincludes 1805?
Gets kinda squirrelly when you really think about it, doesn't it?
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
O.K. we're starting to get a little case of the jitters here, not
having our weekly dose of your wit and wisdom you know! It's kind
of like a junkie needing his fix!
Maybe we should set up a time when everyone rents the same movie,
starts it at a pre-set time, and then join a chat session for you
to feed us your wit!!!!
Just kidding...so when are you gonna get back on the air? Surely
some cable channel has a need for your talents!
Hope all is well with you and that you are getting a good rest
between shows. Just don't rest too long!!!
We look forward with great anticipation to your return.
Mike Ledbetter
Dear Mike,
You're killing me! Gimme time for a smoke here!
Joe Bob
Hey Joe Bob...
I don't hear you talking about The Great One much (not the 1998
monster of the same name). What do you think of the ol' Shinjuku
Stomper? (My wife hates him... I worship his poorly synchronized
nuclear power must be bad 'cause it creates monsters like this
shadow).
Maybe you can trade him a good review for a good stomp of that
CNN place in downtown Atlanta (just finding a place to park would
send him into a rage!).
David Purves,
Madison, AL
Dear David,
Don't you think downtown Atlanta looks like the Green Guy's
already been there, done that?
You obviously missed my two Godzilla marathons. Shame on you.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
You and your wicked sense of humor will be dearly missed! Monster
Vision without Joe Bob? Ted, what were you thinking? Pull your
head out! Thank you for the last five years. We actually
have a working drive-in here in Elk Snout, OR. although I fear
it's days are numbered. Let us know what your next project
will be and good luck to you. My husband and I will be
going to Blockbuster on Saturday nights from now on!
Love,
Sean & Kris Rasmussen
Elk Snout, OR
Dear Kris,
You made that up, right? Elk Snout. I hope you did, but I can
never tell what might happen if you put a couple of, Swedes is
it?, in the Oregon woods.
Thanks for the nice words, guys. I'll have a new gig long before
Ted and his executives dig themselves out of ratings hell.
Joe Bob
Dear Joe Bob,
Did you ever review The Entity? I think it was 1983 when I saw
it. I remember leaving the theater very shaken, better than I
remember the movie itself. Did it only frighten the female
population? I have never been able to watch it since! The first
horror movie I ever saw was Psycho. I had to fill the
bathtub before I got in for years after that. Icouldn't stand to
be in the bathroom with the water running because I couldn't hear
. I saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre when I was 11. And my brother
had me convinced that the mummy from Curse of the Mummy was
coming for me ( I have a small dark mole on my palm) when I was
three. Although all of these movies scared me, nothing shook me
up as bad as The Entity. I was wondering what you thought of it.
Still missing you from TV. Can't wait until you're back on.
Hopefully you will be allowed to call the shots next time around.
You're wickedly gifted. Thank you for the Margarita rules on your
site. Took it to my favorite restaurant and educated the
bartender. Because he is a fan of yours, he took no offense to my
request and no more frozen, slushy - mushy, premixed Margaritas
for this girl !
Thanks Joe Bob, if your ever in La Grande I'll buy you one. Good
luck!
Love,
Kris Rasmussen
PS. Since I'm married, we will have a blue eyed, blonde, body
building Swede tagging along. :)
Dear Kris,
Absolutely! "The Entity" is one of the best horror
flicks of the
eighties, and I don't know why it never developed the following
it
deserved. Barbara Hershey, right? You know who loves "The
Entity"? Goth
girls. What does that tell you?
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Have you seen "Horror, Sci Fi & Fantasy Movie
Posters"? Movies Unlimited sells it.....no author is named.
Are there color posters in it? 80 pages.....is it worth one's
while?
Larry Smith
Larry,
I have no idea, bud. Maybe one of our fellow drive-in mutants
will know about it.
Joe Bob
Hello Joe Bob,
Like so many others, I am profoundly saddened by your forced
departure from Monstervision. Though your show was something to
which I looked forward throughout most every week of my life for
over three years, I shall never watch it again. Monstervision
without you is, well....sucky. I tried it these past two weeks;
the first week, I didn't know (I kept wondering when you would
break in with commentary, I didn't give up, didn't doze at all
until the 3rd or 4th break), and the second week was just out of
habit. Even the Exorcist, a good movie, is pretty boringwithout
your commentary (who hasn't seen it multiple times already?).
Needless to say, the Black Hole was unbearable. These movies are
entertaining if one has friends overand a few beers / whatever,
or if you're hosting them; no marriage is strong enough to
withstand regular get-togethers of the first variety. But
otherwise there is no excuse at all to forego sleep for these
movies.
I hope that other Joe Bob fans out there will dump Monstervision
quickly, not trying to cling to it out of old habits. Let's face
it, we have either to find something else to do Saturday night or
start thinking about getting a normal night's sleep.
I'm so despondent. I can't say that I'm surprised though; I
thought that you would get fired a long time ago. You don't shy
away from ethnic jokes and the like. And it seemed like TNT
was feeding you worse and worse movies as time went on. The Nair
Witch Project, Summer School sessions and other stuff that you
did (of course I don't know how much was your idea and how much
was top-down - I'm certainly curious) helped keep it interesting,
but really it was just your sense of humor and extreme leaps
between relevant background info and straight-shooting redneck
comments that compensated for the horrendous movies. I don't mean
the Black Hole and other horror / sci-fi bombs and b-movies,
those can be made interesting with the decent atmosphere and
commentary. But the Look Who's Talking crap was so useless that I
sometimes couldn't do it, I actually couldn't sit through
Monstervision. So, it seemed to me that TNT was preparing to get
rid of you as long ago as '98.
A couple of questions:
- Was there any truth to the story that Honey, the mail girl from
1996, left the show to "run off and marry a guy from
Sweden"? I remember the scene on your show when, instead of
the mail girl coming out to read the mail, someone handed you a
note that supposedly spelled out her story of running off
with the guy from Sweden. You looked so upset, Joe Bob! The whole
idea that you were heartbroken seemed like a mere extension of a
fantasy involving two fictional personae - yet the look on your
face really got my attention. I couldn't tell whether you were
feeling something ornot. You are a superb actor.
- When and why did Rusty leave?
Hang in there, and I'll try to do the same,
Ryan Merullo
Sutton, NH
ps I'm boycotting TNT entirely
Dear Ryan,
Well, yes, Honey the Mail Girl really did run off to Europe to
get married, and yes, the guy was either fromSweden or
Switzerland, I don't remember which. As to Rusty, she never left!
She got fired at the same time I did. She didn't really get
fired, there was just no show for her to work on.
Joe Bob
Joe Bob,
Just saw Director's Cut.....the longer movie makes some
improvement BUT unless I see a super being save falling buses,
rip a mountain in half and take on 100 guys, I feel like I did'nt
see much of a super being. Linda Carter did better as Wonder
Woman in the super feats dept. I wish Helen Slater would do a
better Supergirl movie. This version had potential at best.
Larry Smith
Dear Larry,
They did a director's cut of that abomination? My GOD. Why?
Joe Bob
Howdy Joe-Bob,
Larry Underwood here, aka Dr. Gangrene in Nashville TN. If you're
ever in town let me know, I'd love to interview you for Chiller
Cinema and go grab a brew somewhere while we're at it! What the
hell - BTW, we got a cool drive-in just a few minutes up the road
in KY that's open evry night of the week! The Franklin
Drive-in... I have initiated them into the fine art of the drive
in - best damn way to see a flick by gawd!
Take it easy pal -
Larry Underwood,
Hendersonville, TN
chiller cinema
http://chillercinema@nashville.com
Dear Larry,
I hope you're not implying that I haven't attended the Franklin
Drive-In. I've experienced several varieties of ecstasy at the
Franklin Drive-In.
Hang in there,
Joe Bob
Hey Joe,
do you have any information on actress Samantha Scully,
that starred in Silent Night, Deadly Night part 3?Hope all
is well. I was wondering, do you live in Texas?
Jacob
Dear Jacob,
You're using the term "starred" loosely, I hope. Nope,
I don't have any personal information. Are you looking for her
phone number?
I move around quite a bit, bud, but I am known to spend extended
periods of time in the metropolis of Grapevine, Texas.
Joe Bob
Hey, JB.
Sorry you're not on MonsterVision anymore, man. TNT apparently
just didn't understand the concept. Bummer.
I don't know what you're doing with your free time these days,
but if you're looking for a way to occupy your brain for a while,
please check out the following:
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/skeletons/film_detail/0,1263,206241,00.html
and
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/skeletons/film_detail/0,1263,206499,00.html
I know these aren't the kind of movies you're normally into, but
I'd be very pleased to get your opinion of them.
Stay
cool, dude. (Actually, I hate people who talk like that.)
Sincerely,
David M. Kilgore
Writer, actor, director, editor, music composer
and *FOUR TIME WINNER* of the Monstervision Caption Contest.
Dear David,
How did you know that "I Hate My Job" and "Coffee:
The Movie" are metaphors for my whole life?
Joe Bob
Dear Joe-Bob
**hugs**
I was really saddened to find out recently(on a website totally
un-related to MonsterVision's) that you were no longer hosting
MonsterVision.. :(
I didn't have much of a chance lately to watch MonsterVision, so
it was a shock, to say the least. ::kicks the collective TNT
exec's @$$es:::: I really enjoyed the show when I did get to see
it, and you were a wonderful host. I wrote you a couple of years
ago; concerning Vincent Price movies, and I wanted to thank you
again for writing me back. When you get another show of your
own(being positive never hurts, no? <g>) do you think you
could
do a Vincent Price special? That would be so great!
Anyway, good luck in all your future projects, and I hope to see
you on the air again soon! Take care! =)
a loyal fan,
Susan Needham
Dear Susan,
Big Vince has always been one of my favorite guys. Do you know
that at one time he was considered one of our leading experts on
classical art? Go figure.
Joe Bob |