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The Last Exorcism (2010)

REVIEWS >> Movie Reviews

The Last Exorcism

Ever since Linda Blair's head spun like a plate on a Hungarian acrobat's bamboo pole, pretty much everbody has known how to do an exorcism and what to expect. The possessed stretches out on the bed, the holy man shouts prayers, the bed shakes, the demon howls, and there you go.

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Piranha 3D (2010)

REVIEWS >> Movie Reviews

Piranha 3-D (2010)

It’s Attack of the Stupid White People as Spring Breakers get drunk and nekkid at a lake where—dang it!—an earthquake opens up a subterranean cavern full of prehistorical piranha.

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Eyeborgs (2009)

REVIEWS >> Movie Reviews

Eyeborgs

So the government passed the Freedom of Observation Act, which means that everybody is being watched by ODIN, the Optical Defense Intelligence Network, which uses Mobile Robotic Surveillance Cameras, which are called Eyeborgs, because calling them MRSCs would cause you to spew spit on everybody.

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Drive-In HorrorShow

REVIEWS >> Movie Reviews

Drive-in Horrorshow

We all know that the drive-in will never die, but it turns out that the drive-in even manages to survive some stock footage of the apocalypse. Course, after the apocalypse, the only customers are skeletons, and the concessions girl is zombified, but I guess you have to expect a few inconveniences post-holocaustically speaking.

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Our Men Need Books!

Our Men Need Books! Joe Bob's hand picked board of reviewers and Joe Bob hisself pick the best in literature from bathroom reading material to more serious tomes.

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Beast Within (2008)

Nineteen dead bodies. Eight breasts. One beast. Check it out.

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Dark Carnival 2010

Dark Carnival 2010

After being kicked out of every other film festival in America, Joe Bob will host "Dark Carnival 2010" in Bloomington, Indiana Nov 19-21

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Machete (2010)

REVIEWS >> Movie Reviews

Machete (2010)

So you’re a Federale with the incredibly cool name of Machete, but since everbody's tryin to be Meskin, you have to say it like Ma-CHAY-te. Anyway, you're Ma-CHAY-te, just tryin to do your job and rescue the nekkid bimbo from drug- lord-with-a-vaguely-Meskin-accent-by-way-of-Jefferson-Parish-Looziana Steven Seagal, only the bimbo turns out to be in cahoots with Seagal, and he kills your whole family and tries to set you on fire. Talk about your bad day at work.

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The Crazies (2010)

REVIEWS >> Movie Reviews

The Crazies - Fear thy Neighbor

You know what I hate? You’re out at the high school ball field, wondering what near-cheese product they squirt on the nachos, watching the jocks play the first game of the season, and up walks some berserkoid with a gun. Ruins the whole game for everyone, not to mention the nachos.

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TAKE THE DRIVE-IN OATH

Take the Drive-In Oath

Have you taken the Official Joe Bob Briggs Drive-In Oath?  Put on your best paper hat and raise your right hand!

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A word of Advice:  Smart people don't need it, fools never heed it.  Joe Bob sets lost souls straight anyway.

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FINE FAN ARTS

Fine Fan Art

From the deviant to the delightful, and everything in between.  We're pretty sure this one's gonna leave a mark ..

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DRIVE-IN MOVIE REVIEWS


  • Wanda Bodine said to me, "Joe Bob, how can you go to the drive-in when this country is at WAR?"

    And I said, "Well, I didn't realize that if I went to 'Bad Girls From Mars,' American soldiers might suffer as a result."

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  • Ever since "Carrie" in 1976, people SHOULD realize that one thing you never ever do in high school is screw with a nerd. Cause you know what happens, right? It might be that year, and it might be ten years later, when your victim invites you to a reunion, but sooner or later somebody is gonna get axed.

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JOE BOB'S MIGHTY AMERICA


  • You can't go to an elementary-school fundraiser, a late show at the Holiday Inn lounge or an Elks Lodge mixer without eventually being afflicted with . . . The Speech.

    "If we allow ourselves to be paralyzed with fear, then they have won."

    "We must continue to live our lives or they have won."

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  • A few weeks ago I was in line at the airport when this British golfer went ballistic on us and started whaling away at a TWA ticket agent, threatening to Report Him To His Superiors and I'll Never Fly This Airline Again and No Wonder The Airlines Are Bankrupt and I Can't Believe I'm Being Treated This Way, and practically screaming in the agent's face until finally the golfer's wife got so embarrassed that she apologized to ME.

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  • The Air Force is gettin whacked upside the head by "humanitarian relief" organizations who say we shouldn't be droppin all those Happy Meals into Afghanistan.

    Medecins San Frontiers--French guys--called it "a piece of military propaganda." Oxfarm said it was "very random" and wasn't helping.

    Read more...

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JOE BOB'S WORLD WIDE WEB OF WEIRD

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  • Joe Bob Briggs

    Why don't we celebrate Labor Day on May 1st, like . . . uh . . . everybody else on the planet?

    by Joe Bob Briggs Monday, 06 September 2010 17:46

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